Wednesday Wonderings

I'm fairly certain I haven't yet posted one of these post this year, so in light of this oversight here you go...

I've been contemplating, on my drives to work, what the Queen keeps in her handbag? A very interesting and worthwhile question to ponder if you consider she surely doesn't need money, so she won't carry a purse and I think she would think chewing gum is vulgar. Perhaps a packet of tissues, no a handkerchief surely!

Is there a link between hormones and bad driving? I'm not referring to road rage but rather my inability to think 'sensibly' and not park like an idiot? Probably.

Why am I avoiding writing my personal statement? Or, what is it about writing a personal statement which terrifies me and therefore allows me to stall doing it thus leaving me in the position of not being able to apply for jobs?

When will be grown up enough to realise I can't go through life avoiding the things I'm scared of, or the things I dislike and the things that I find hard?

Where am I going to find the energy for circuit training this evening? Probably not in the peanut butter on toast I just scoffed. Meh. At least it wasn't the jar of Nutella with a spoon.

Will this year get better for me in terms of my health? In the last month alone I've torn my calf muscle and rolled from a throat infection to the flu.

Would it be entirely frowned upon to spray children with some kind of disinfectant spray as they enter the classroom? Or, for that matter, to ask for my own decontamination unit?

Am I right to be concerned that with all the modern technology children have access to there is going to be a move away from handwriting and therefore a decline in penmanship?

What should I make of the fact that 2 people have now commented 'Hannah' in Girls and I share many similarities and characteristics?

One of Those Days...?

If my throat wasn't so sore and I had the energy I'd scream, a real AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!
From frustration, anger and disappointment.

I've had a few intense days - I worked a couple of days in a nursery setting and feel like somewhere along the line I've been well and truly stitched by someone I.e either the school or the agency: I did and am doing the work of a teacher but am getting paid the wage of a teaching assistant?! So I'm stewing about it because it's not on but I hate conflict, so....I don't know what to do about it....

AND whilst I'm stewing about that I'm sick:( As in feeling like I've been kicked by a horse, shivering and with a sore throat, thus I turned down a days work at full pay and not the pittance they're giving for the nursery work. *sigh and note to self to buy industrial size/strength sanitiser*

Then I made the fatal error of looking to a man for comfort and support....

"I'm sandwiches and I love you"

Tuesday was my very first day as a supply teacher as a NQT and ....I survived! So I'm chalking that up as a triumph. I loved it: the school was great, the support staff were incredibly supportive, the rest if the staff unbelievably welcoming and the children immensely affectionate - I had 2 marriage demands. I had no real info about the children in terms of EAL, Sen, ability, class number, behaviour issues or timetable etc as such going in so it was very much a wing it in a sink or swim situation.

Not only that but I also drove by myself (how grown up), got myself - and the car - there (and back) in one piece with a torn calf muscle, did I not mention that?...Yes that happened Sunday as I did a spinning punch to a punchbag at the gym. BUT all in all another triumph.

Driving might be a small inconsequential thing to most because it's just driving a car and anyone can do that (with or without a license). Not to me it isn't. I'm terrified when I drive, hyper aware of everything - the tightness of my chest, the dryness of my throat, my Elvis leg shaking on the accelerator, the speed I'm travelling at, the drivers behind me I believe I'm holding up, my road position, my sweating yet cold hands, the drivers going passed me, the drivers joining the motorway..Ugh!

Flash forward to Saturday - now - and I must say this has definitely been a trial of a week in which I have been triumphant.

It's amazing how when taking the register and hearing "I'm sandwiches and I love you" or having a small child hug you can ease even the most anxious and nervous of NQT supply teachers.