Here

My NQT papers completing my trainee year have been signed off and submitted.

Reports have been written.

We've had the end of year party.

I've bought them all a little something.

Somewhere between these things I've got to where I am now...tired, sad to be leaving, hoping I made a difference (however small), praying life gets better for them and wanting so desperately to hear of their success.

More than the above I'm left with being a part of the emotional silence that descended on us all as C, my ADHD boy, sung Sam Smith's Lay Me Down. I was, am, so proud of the him.

Some how between being slapped, kicked, punched, spat at, verbally abused and screamed at I wound up here...loving them all and actually really upset to be leaving them.

Love and Hate and Other Things Beside

Just when I have finished congratulating myself on being unique I go and do or say something that is inherent in just about every human being on this planet. Take for example the fact I have been wishing my life away by staring forlornly toward Friday 17th July like a rejected besotted teenager, only to wake up suddenly with a desire to hold back time like a death row inmate.

On Friday 17th July I officially finish my NQT year and working at the school I'm at, I don't know whether to pat myself on the back for surviving it (especially given the children I work with) or to mourn it like the end of a passionate love affair.

Yup. I've got no answer to that.