So, I've had an ...interesting week since my last bout of tangent-ness and when I say 'interesting' I'm being diplomatic, so just be thankful that I don't descend into a hissing and spitting rant. I'm one part alley cat don't you know.
The hissing and spitting aside, I've been pondering a few things, such as...
Why are opinions and agendas like arse holes?...because everyone has one!
Why did I eat that banana loaf batter when I knew it would give me a stomach ache?
Why has my house suddenly turned into a wood louse hotel? Better than slugs and snails I suppose.
What makes some people so inclined to gossip and slander?
Will anyone think me strange for drinking mulled wine in April? Not that I care having pretty much done the whole bottle, but I'd thought I'd put that question out there any way.
When Tash, one half of the Smirnoff Sisters, became such a light weight as be tipsy heading toward drunk on half a bottle of 8% wine. Oh dear lord, how you have changed!
Is there such a thing as being 'over tired'? I hear parents saying it all the time when their precious children are having a melt down and showing off.
Do we ever grow out of emotions like jealousy?
Is keeping something from someone the same as lying?
Do we ever grow out of letting our anger govern our actions?
If someone continuously bails on you and neglects to check in with you on how you're doing and what's going on in your life, do they have a right to be self righteous when you in turn neglect them?
Is there ever such a thing as an easy week or an uncomplicated relationship?
Why is it hurtful to hear things second hand?
Why do we become so insular and selfish when we're going through a rough patch?
What is a decent night sleep?
Why do I get muscle spasms in my eyes through poor quality sleep?
How much have I wanted to scream at people 'you don't get to have the monopoly on going through shit!' this week?
How much have I wanted to also scream 'you don't get to treat me like a mug and get away with it!'? Erm, think I may have done this one.
How much longer can I function when I'm more or less running on empty?
Why do people treat you like dirt and think saying sorry is enough?
For the love wine, what does a gal have to do to get a decent night sleep?
Is there something in the water making us TAs feel so low and fed up?
How can we still be on a hosepipe ban when we've had five days worth of rain in two?
Why can't the government come up with an idea on how to capture and save the rain water that falls on our very damp and lush country?
Or and here's another suggestion for you - how about the water companies use some of their profits to prevent the many water leaks we get? How's that for an idea?!
Why so many of the children I work with think it's perfectly acceptable to ignore me and my instructions altogether, plus answer me back?
When did good manners go out of fashion?
Where has my patience, tolerance and ability to take being spoken to like I am something to be scrapped off of a shoe gone? Usually it's water off of a duck's back, but right now...not so much.
Will the surprise flowers I'm having sent to my sister's office on the day of her birthday make up for not being able to be there for dinner this Sunday?
Wednesday, 25 April 2012
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Nannas
Nannas are an odd breed of women, wonderfully forgiving, full of rich tales of your parents worst antics, wise, without shame and if anything like mine fantastically young at heart. They are even a bit on the strange side if you get to really thinking about them.
Take, for example, my nanna Charlotte Francis Debono, she was always a bit of a mystery to me not least for her heavy French accent, which at times, would be near impossible to decipher. I spent much of my early years either nodding in agreement or shaking my head in disapproval based solely on what I thought her facial expression and tone of voice were telling me. The end result is a very dizzy child who was none the wiser as to what her nanna was saying, but on the other hand developed a honed skill for reading people.
Nanna was also a bit of a free spirit, very young at heart and with a propensity for crazy ideas on how to entertain her many grandchildren (like many foreign families our mothers were young and us, their children plentiful). I almost blush with embarrassment at the memory that she thought nothing of taking us blackberry picking in a Victorian graveyard! We'd be there for hours filling our chubby faces with blackberries more than we filled the plastic bags we took with us. People who saw us would often stare in disbelief and I don't doubt if it weren't for there being a responsible adult with us, we would have received a stern telling off. I know what we looked like too, poor and plenty, foreign and uncivilised. Our clothes were always a mismatch of whomever's house we happened to be sleeping and eating out of. Our hair wasn't always brushed and we all wore a wildness about us that only the young and innocent can possess when they are totally unaware of how they are perceived. I'm sure during the six week holidays it was agreed among our mums who would have who and for how long. There must have been some kind of rotation going on so that each of them got a break - both mentally and financially - from us all.
On one such trip to Abney Park Cemetery nanna decided she would have a go on a bike. The bike in question was a red one, a Star bike and I used to look on it with envy. I wasn't quite big enough to ride it because my feet didn't touch the floor and I wasn't generally speaking encouraged to try - I was the accident prone one. What was unique about this bike was the fact you could fold it, it had a hinge system and a kind of nut and bolt. Obviously the view was to make it easier for storage in cupboards and sheds. Nanna took off on this glorious and much coveted bike with immense whooping and hilarity on our part, all of us thrilled to the point of our hair being electrified with charged excitement. After some time our fits of giggles and shrieks of mayhem died down to a bored unrest, it was surely time for nanna to be back from her adventures. She eventually did come back, swearing under her breath in French, her plaited hair half pulled out and her dress stained in places. The coveted Star bike had decided to fold up on her as she had been riding and thus upended her in a bush.
Nanna's many other ingenious ideas included using a pram to cart the household washing in black bags, with two or three of us perched on top, to the launderette she managed. She would give us baths or wash downs in the butler sink there, use the kettle to heat cans of baked beans for us and feed us all on two portions of fish and chips. Of course those were the days when such a thing was possible.
At night all the beds used to be pushed together in one room of her Victorian Terraced council house and nearly ten of us would all sleep together. The only light in the room would be the glow of her cigarette and the digital clock perched on the broken backless chair.
In two days time it will be the four year anniversary of my nanna's funeral and at times like this I miss her very much. I miss the safety I felt with her, the scent of cigarettes and softener on her clothes which always managed to feel exotic and homey at one and the same time.
Take, for example, my nanna Charlotte Francis Debono, she was always a bit of a mystery to me not least for her heavy French accent, which at times, would be near impossible to decipher. I spent much of my early years either nodding in agreement or shaking my head in disapproval based solely on what I thought her facial expression and tone of voice were telling me. The end result is a very dizzy child who was none the wiser as to what her nanna was saying, but on the other hand developed a honed skill for reading people.
Nanna was also a bit of a free spirit, very young at heart and with a propensity for crazy ideas on how to entertain her many grandchildren (like many foreign families our mothers were young and us, their children plentiful). I almost blush with embarrassment at the memory that she thought nothing of taking us blackberry picking in a Victorian graveyard! We'd be there for hours filling our chubby faces with blackberries more than we filled the plastic bags we took with us. People who saw us would often stare in disbelief and I don't doubt if it weren't for there being a responsible adult with us, we would have received a stern telling off. I know what we looked like too, poor and plenty, foreign and uncivilised. Our clothes were always a mismatch of whomever's house we happened to be sleeping and eating out of. Our hair wasn't always brushed and we all wore a wildness about us that only the young and innocent can possess when they are totally unaware of how they are perceived. I'm sure during the six week holidays it was agreed among our mums who would have who and for how long. There must have been some kind of rotation going on so that each of them got a break - both mentally and financially - from us all.
On one such trip to Abney Park Cemetery nanna decided she would have a go on a bike. The bike in question was a red one, a Star bike and I used to look on it with envy. I wasn't quite big enough to ride it because my feet didn't touch the floor and I wasn't generally speaking encouraged to try - I was the accident prone one. What was unique about this bike was the fact you could fold it, it had a hinge system and a kind of nut and bolt. Obviously the view was to make it easier for storage in cupboards and sheds. Nanna took off on this glorious and much coveted bike with immense whooping and hilarity on our part, all of us thrilled to the point of our hair being electrified with charged excitement. After some time our fits of giggles and shrieks of mayhem died down to a bored unrest, it was surely time for nanna to be back from her adventures. She eventually did come back, swearing under her breath in French, her plaited hair half pulled out and her dress stained in places. The coveted Star bike had decided to fold up on her as she had been riding and thus upended her in a bush.
Nanna's many other ingenious ideas included using a pram to cart the household washing in black bags, with two or three of us perched on top, to the launderette she managed. She would give us baths or wash downs in the butler sink there, use the kettle to heat cans of baked beans for us and feed us all on two portions of fish and chips. Of course those were the days when such a thing was possible.
At night all the beds used to be pushed together in one room of her Victorian Terraced council house and nearly ten of us would all sleep together. The only light in the room would be the glow of her cigarette and the digital clock perched on the broken backless chair.
In two days time it will be the four year anniversary of my nanna's funeral and at times like this I miss her very much. I miss the safety I felt with her, the scent of cigarettes and softener on her clothes which always managed to feel exotic and homey at one and the same time.
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Wednesday Wondering
So, Easter holidays eh?...hm I'm aware that the time off should have given me plenty of time to de-stress and ponder life, but suffice to say I didn't. I was very relaxed with K and the kids, so relaxed I descended into a vegetative state and didn't have a coherent thought.
That confessed I have been contemplating some things, like...
When your instincts whisper that someone isn't to be trusted is it your instincts or paranoia?
How did I forget that it's mine and L's 4th wedding anniversary this Thursday?
How guilty do I feel about the above?
Why I frequently seem to over do the exercise and end up walking like John Wayne? Actually I look more like I'm in pain and constipated but saying John Wayne seemed more polite.
Why I bothered to set my alarm for 06:20 when I didn't drag my sorry and tired butt out of bed until 07:20?
How sorry for myself I feel now that I've been forced - by the weighing scales - to get back on the diet and exercise wagon? I swear they practically screamed at me when I stepped on them. Meany scales.
What I have to do to shoo away the psoriasis fairy that has been my constant companion for about 20 years? Because the steroid fairy hasn't worked, the ignore it fairy hasn't worked either and the exercise/de-stress fairy has abandonment issues and clearly just l-o-v-e-s me.
Am I really teeth brushed, jarmies on and in bed at 20:30? Yup. You're just the life and soul Tash, life and soul.
Why a cleaned house never stays clean?
Why during the week I turn into a cat with all her claws attaching herself to the mattress so she can't be prised out of her bed, yet come the weekend...I can't wait to get up?
Is it possible to overdose on pesto?
Does anyone else talk to their self out loud like they are talking to a different person?
You know when you wake up in the morning and you have breath like you've been licking the inside of your entire neighbourhood's bins, it's rumoured that it's because a spider crawled in there and died. Is that true? I'm delighted and disgusted by that in equal measures. Guess my inner 5 year old is out in force then.
How much longer can I continue to go to work to support a child who is consistently rude to me, rejects me and all my offers of help and refuses to comply with instructions? Seriously, today he has had me NEEDING a large glass of wine. Mulled of course.
Why do I only like mulled wine and no other wine?
Is it true that you can add cinnamon to just about anything and it will taste good?
Am I turning into my mum? I certainly sound like her when I'm trying to communicate angry...oh dear lord!
Is it inevitable that all men turn into their fathers and all women into their mothers? Boy would L and I look like a little foreign couple ha hah ha.
Where has my sudden appetite come from? Most days I get in from work and all I can think about is food. Seriously, my stomach thinks my throat has been slit!
Whilst walking to work in the morning in the rain are cars deliberately trying to soak me? Two days in a row I've gone to work with wet underwear from cars swooping through puddles and drenching me.
Is 16:30 too early for dinner?...because I've just eaten it! I had to, the chair legs were starting to look appealing.
That confessed I have been contemplating some things, like...
When your instincts whisper that someone isn't to be trusted is it your instincts or paranoia?
How did I forget that it's mine and L's 4th wedding anniversary this Thursday?
How guilty do I feel about the above?
Why I frequently seem to over do the exercise and end up walking like John Wayne? Actually I look more like I'm in pain and constipated but saying John Wayne seemed more polite.
Why I bothered to set my alarm for 06:20 when I didn't drag my sorry and tired butt out of bed until 07:20?
How sorry for myself I feel now that I've been forced - by the weighing scales - to get back on the diet and exercise wagon? I swear they practically screamed at me when I stepped on them. Meany scales.
What I have to do to shoo away the psoriasis fairy that has been my constant companion for about 20 years? Because the steroid fairy hasn't worked, the ignore it fairy hasn't worked either and the exercise/de-stress fairy has abandonment issues and clearly just l-o-v-e-s me.
Am I really teeth brushed, jarmies on and in bed at 20:30? Yup. You're just the life and soul Tash, life and soul.
Why a cleaned house never stays clean?
Why during the week I turn into a cat with all her claws attaching herself to the mattress so she can't be prised out of her bed, yet come the weekend...I can't wait to get up?
Is it possible to overdose on pesto?
Does anyone else talk to their self out loud like they are talking to a different person?
You know when you wake up in the morning and you have breath like you've been licking the inside of your entire neighbourhood's bins, it's rumoured that it's because a spider crawled in there and died. Is that true? I'm delighted and disgusted by that in equal measures. Guess my inner 5 year old is out in force then.
How much longer can I continue to go to work to support a child who is consistently rude to me, rejects me and all my offers of help and refuses to comply with instructions? Seriously, today he has had me NEEDING a large glass of wine. Mulled of course.
Why do I only like mulled wine and no other wine?
Is it true that you can add cinnamon to just about anything and it will taste good?
Am I turning into my mum? I certainly sound like her when I'm trying to communicate angry...oh dear lord!
Is it inevitable that all men turn into their fathers and all women into their mothers? Boy would L and I look like a little foreign couple ha hah ha.
Where has my sudden appetite come from? Most days I get in from work and all I can think about is food. Seriously, my stomach thinks my throat has been slit!
Whilst walking to work in the morning in the rain are cars deliberately trying to soak me? Two days in a row I've gone to work with wet underwear from cars swooping through puddles and drenching me.
Is 16:30 too early for dinner?...because I've just eaten it! I had to, the chair legs were starting to look appealing.
Monday, 16 April 2012
Clarity and Distance
Is it always a case of with distance comes clarity?
Today was my first day back at work after two weeks of Easter leave. Training had been arranged for us TAs on 'Supporting ASD Pupils to Develop Positive Relationships' and it was delivered by an amazing woman who knows precisely how to break the training down to an accessible level for all.
As we were going through the training and examples of what to do I noticed a number of things;
1. I tick the boxes of a huge number of ASD traits
2. My feelings of frustration and agitation grew as the training went on
Finally, come lunch time, I realised what was wrong with me and has been plaguing me for some time...
1. K ticks ALL the boxes of ASD but doesn't have ASD, he has Attachment Disorder
2. I'm no closer to figuring out how to cope or deal with K's behavioural issues
3. I am beyond fed up of feeling like K is my problem and my problem alone - teachers wash their hands of him, senior members of staff can't or won't make a decision about him and I get no advice or support
4. I have run out of tactics and strategies with him
5. I am stressed out about being reactionary to so many things when I'd rather be proactive
6. My job description doesn't begin to cover what I do or am expected to do with K
7. My training on strategies to deal with a child with K's level of behavioural, emotional and psychological problems is woefully inadequate
I have reached breaking point...and I know this because I'm no longer keeping it under my hat that I've been offered a place at Winchester University on their Teacher Training Course, which in turn shows me I no longer care about keeping my position until the end of the academic year in July. This to me means only one thing...breaking point.
Mentally I feel like I've reached my tolerance threshold and saturation point, which also feels like quitting, giving up and laying down on the job.
It's not a matter of not being paid enough for what I do - which I'm not.
It's not a matter of things not being in my job description - are they ever?
It's not a matter not having had sufficient or decent training - which I haven't.
It's not a matter of whether I want to work with him or not.
It's a matter of Every Child Matters.
I've realised that I'm not coping with K or his issues.
I've realised that I'm not helping him gain access to an education.
I've realised that I'm not helping him develop social or life skills.
So, in light of these realisations ... I'm failing him, his guardians are failing him and the school are failing him.
Surely it isn't as simple as that - him being failed by us all - and I'm missing the bigger picture? Surely there are more complications involved with K that his guardians and the school are aware of that I'm not?
Should it have taken two weeks leave and therefore some distance to reach this point of clarity or to raise these kinds of questions?
Shouldn't I have known myself well enough to figure this out a long time ago?
Now I know all of this, where do I go from here?...
Today was my first day back at work after two weeks of Easter leave. Training had been arranged for us TAs on 'Supporting ASD Pupils to Develop Positive Relationships' and it was delivered by an amazing woman who knows precisely how to break the training down to an accessible level for all.
As we were going through the training and examples of what to do I noticed a number of things;
1. I tick the boxes of a huge number of ASD traits
2. My feelings of frustration and agitation grew as the training went on
Finally, come lunch time, I realised what was wrong with me and has been plaguing me for some time...
1. K ticks ALL the boxes of ASD but doesn't have ASD, he has Attachment Disorder
2. I'm no closer to figuring out how to cope or deal with K's behavioural issues
3. I am beyond fed up of feeling like K is my problem and my problem alone - teachers wash their hands of him, senior members of staff can't or won't make a decision about him and I get no advice or support
4. I have run out of tactics and strategies with him
5. I am stressed out about being reactionary to so many things when I'd rather be proactive
6. My job description doesn't begin to cover what I do or am expected to do with K
7. My training on strategies to deal with a child with K's level of behavioural, emotional and psychological problems is woefully inadequate
I have reached breaking point...and I know this because I'm no longer keeping it under my hat that I've been offered a place at Winchester University on their Teacher Training Course, which in turn shows me I no longer care about keeping my position until the end of the academic year in July. This to me means only one thing...breaking point.
Mentally I feel like I've reached my tolerance threshold and saturation point, which also feels like quitting, giving up and laying down on the job.
It's not a matter of not being paid enough for what I do - which I'm not.
It's not a matter of things not being in my job description - are they ever?
It's not a matter not having had sufficient or decent training - which I haven't.
It's not a matter of whether I want to work with him or not.
It's a matter of Every Child Matters.
I've realised that I'm not coping with K or his issues.
I've realised that I'm not helping him gain access to an education.
I've realised that I'm not helping him develop social or life skills.
So, in light of these realisations ... I'm failing him, his guardians are failing him and the school are failing him.
Surely it isn't as simple as that - him being failed by us all - and I'm missing the bigger picture? Surely there are more complications involved with K that his guardians and the school are aware of that I'm not?
Should it have taken two weeks leave and therefore some distance to reach this point of clarity or to raise these kinds of questions?
Shouldn't I have known myself well enough to figure this out a long time ago?
Now I know all of this, where do I go from here?...
Saturday, 14 April 2012
The Half Pint, The Tempest, The Pudding...and Me!
I'm back from five days away in Cornwall with K, half-pint, tempest and pudding and I had a fabulous time.
It was great to immerse myself in someone else's family and to be made to feel like family, especially as L is away and so therefore always on my mind.
It's no secret I have very little experience with children but I must say my little tempest has, from day one, been nothing but herself with me. She has shown me all her colours, the colour of her love, her temper, her tears, her laughter and her personality. She has also covered me in pee and poop more times than I can list! What can I say?....she's a generous child.
If I was slightly unnerved by tempest unlocking the bathroom door from the outside (clever little minx) whilst I was in the shower to have a pee and then taking a seat on her foot stool to have a chat...she certainly wasn't.
If I was surprised at how often she or half pint of pudding would let themselves in on me getting dressed...I was the only one.
If I was stunned at how much they all ate...I was alone in this.
I wasn't surprised at how K and I took off from where we left off and it was almost like we still lived around the corner from each other.
It was great to immerse myself in someone else's family and to be made to feel like family, especially as L is away and so therefore always on my mind.
It's no secret I have very little experience with children but I must say my little tempest has, from day one, been nothing but herself with me. She has shown me all her colours, the colour of her love, her temper, her tears, her laughter and her personality. She has also covered me in pee and poop more times than I can list! What can I say?....she's a generous child.
If I was slightly unnerved by tempest unlocking the bathroom door from the outside (clever little minx) whilst I was in the shower to have a pee and then taking a seat on her foot stool to have a chat...she certainly wasn't.
If I was surprised at how often she or half pint of pudding would let themselves in on me getting dressed...I was the only one.
If I was stunned at how much they all ate...I was alone in this.
I wasn't surprised at how K and I took off from where we left off and it was almost like we still lived around the corner from each other.
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Dear Body
Hi, how is going?
I know I've abused you somewhat over the course of the last thirty or so years but I need you to do something for me...stop failing me.
I have inflamed tendons in my left foot, inflamed tendons in my left hand and an ear infection in my right ear. One of those alone would have been sufficient. Oh and cold sores up and around my nose too, so I repeat one of those ailments would have been enough thanks.
I'm not going to make you any empty promises such as 'if you fix these ailments and let me get back to fighting fit I'll take better care of you' because we both know I lack the attention span to keep good on any such promise. What I will say though is that will endeavour to take it a bit easier, eat less, exercise more (gently) and rest more when it is clearly evident that that is what is required.
Yours faithfully if a little miserable
Tasha
Ps one last thing...any chance you could let those painkillers kick in any time soon?
I know I've abused you somewhat over the course of the last thirty or so years but I need you to do something for me...stop failing me.
I have inflamed tendons in my left foot, inflamed tendons in my left hand and an ear infection in my right ear. One of those alone would have been sufficient. Oh and cold sores up and around my nose too, so I repeat one of those ailments would have been enough thanks.
I'm not going to make you any empty promises such as 'if you fix these ailments and let me get back to fighting fit I'll take better care of you' because we both know I lack the attention span to keep good on any such promise. What I will say though is that will endeavour to take it a bit easier, eat less, exercise more (gently) and rest more when it is clearly evident that that is what is required.
Yours faithfully if a little miserable
Tasha
Ps one last thing...any chance you could let those painkillers kick in any time soon?
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Far From the Apple Tree
Sometimes I am convinced that I am the only person on this planet who actually THINKS before I open my mouth about how what I am about to say may affect someone else.
THE ONLY PERSON. I'M CONVINCED!
I would also just like to draw your attention to how much I'm am not a fan of ritual humiliation. It is not big, it is not clever it AND it is absolutely 100% NEVER ACCEPTABLE. Not from anyone and in any circumstances and if you need that pointed out to you then your one social brain cell probably died of loneliness a very long time ago.
I don't know who to be more pissed at .....L for not having any forethought and using me to manipulate a situation or my sister T for being such an opinionated insensitive idiot!
I mean how hard can it be to follow a thought down a couple of chains of likely outcomes PRIOR to opening mouth and saying something?!
How hard is it to measure an opinion and how, where etc it is aired in terms of appropriateness before offering it up?
How hard is it for a person to ask their self the question 'would I like someone to say that about me at that time and place?'
How difficult is it for a person to take the 5 seconds to ponder 'could that be considered hurtful?'
How demonstrable arduous is it for a person to contemplate 'is this an appropriate forum for the airing of such an opinion?'
Evidently it is totally beyond some people's intellectual and emotional capacity.
It's would be redundant to point out that I'm a tad upset today but...yes I'm really am sick to the pit of stomach upset and angry. Oh and just plain fed up with it all too.
I'm perpetually stuck in the middle of my older sister T and L. L will say or do something that he doesn't stop to think about how my knee jerk reactionary opinionated and insensitive sister (not sitting on the fence there) is going to react. Arguably he shouldn't have to stop to consider her and her flaws, I mean what in all honesty does it have to with her in the first place and, more to point, why should he care about her and her opinions? My sister T will then pass her unsolicited negative view, without finding out the facts, to me. She won't temper her response with any caution, she won't think about anyone other than herself and her opinion is the only valid one.
The older I get and the more heated debates I have with my family members, the more I see how closed minded they are and I realise this apple, as in myself, fell far from the tree.
THE ONLY PERSON. I'M CONVINCED!
I would also just like to draw your attention to how much I'm am not a fan of ritual humiliation. It is not big, it is not clever it AND it is absolutely 100% NEVER ACCEPTABLE. Not from anyone and in any circumstances and if you need that pointed out to you then your one social brain cell probably died of loneliness a very long time ago.
I don't know who to be more pissed at .....L for not having any forethought and using me to manipulate a situation or my sister T for being such an opinionated insensitive idiot!
I mean how hard can it be to follow a thought down a couple of chains of likely outcomes PRIOR to opening mouth and saying something?!
How hard is it to measure an opinion and how, where etc it is aired in terms of appropriateness before offering it up?
How hard is it for a person to ask their self the question 'would I like someone to say that about me at that time and place?'
How difficult is it for a person to take the 5 seconds to ponder 'could that be considered hurtful?'
How demonstrable arduous is it for a person to contemplate 'is this an appropriate forum for the airing of such an opinion?'
Evidently it is totally beyond some people's intellectual and emotional capacity.
It's would be redundant to point out that I'm a tad upset today but...yes I'm really am sick to the pit of stomach upset and angry. Oh and just plain fed up with it all too.
I'm perpetually stuck in the middle of my older sister T and L. L will say or do something that he doesn't stop to think about how my knee jerk reactionary opinionated and insensitive sister (not sitting on the fence there) is going to react. Arguably he shouldn't have to stop to consider her and her flaws, I mean what in all honesty does it have to with her in the first place and, more to point, why should he care about her and her opinions? My sister T will then pass her unsolicited negative view, without finding out the facts, to me. She won't temper her response with any caution, she won't think about anyone other than herself and her opinion is the only valid one.
The older I get and the more heated debates I have with my family members, the more I see how closed minded they are and I realise this apple, as in myself, fell far from the tree.
Wednesday, 4 April 2012
Wednesday Wonderings
It's the Easter holidays! You guys have no idea how happy that makes me and just how much I NEEDED a break. So in between laying in bed until late morning (definitely not feeling guilty about that, okay well maybe just a little bit) and doing chores I've had a spare moment, or two, to contemplate the important things in life.
Why my iPod, or podge as I call it, dumped its charge right when I had pysched myself up for going for my first run in about 6 weeks? (thank you!!) Huh Zumba on the xbox it is then.
Why the moment I have leave does L stop doing chores like emptying the dishwasher? Does anyone else hate emptying the dishwasher as much as I do? Does anyone else think that that statement is beyond lazy?
If I'm not being just a little paranoid and silly thinking that although I know I'm not the only working childless army wife on this estate I still feel different in a negative way?
Does anyone else like to people watch? I like watching families and their offspring and working out whose genes were stronger.
Pumpkin Spice syrup....what was I thinking?! It does not taste good. Damn, I'm so disappointed!
Why I dreamt that my front room was covered in snails and slugs? I also dreamt I trod on one and ended up kicking L as I freaked out.
Why does toast always fall butter side down?
Why am I still hungry and thinking about food even though I've had a breakfast (porridge)?
Where I am going to find the motivation to get up off the sofa and do my chores?
Why did it take me so long to discover peanut butter filled pretzels?
How much water am I going to drink in an attempt to get rid of this headache before I admit defeat and take a pill? One litre down who knows how many more to follow.
Would I have made it to 5 foot 2 inches if mum hadn't smoked whilst pregnant with me?
Why I feel so unbelievably tired and hungry?
I might as well take up a plot in front of the cupboard and sit there for the amount of time I've spent rifling through it and cramming things into my mouth.
Did my new next door neighbour really turn her nose up at being friends because she's unsure of L's nickname?
Seriously love, have a word with yourself!! Dare I admit 2 days into our Easter holidays, well not even 2 days really, and I'm bored?
Which neighbourly cat I need to thank for leaving the kind offering of a creature's paw on my doorstep?
I had to examine it closely and poke it a few times with my foot before I realised what it was. Apparently the blood around it wasn't enough of a give away.
Where I can find a new hairdresser? The one I currently use has a daughter at the school I work and she asks me probing questions despite knowing I can't talk about it.
If our British weather will make its mind up any day soon?
Lovely and hot last week and the week before but now....I'm pretty sure that that was hail that drenched me while I was desperately pulling clothes off the washing line.
Why I can't stop thinking I'm a day ahead?
For weeks when it got to Wednesday afternoon I was convinced it was Thursday, today I could have sworn it was Wednesday.
Am I really that run down and is my immune system that I'm back to suffering with cold sores and around my nose no less? Nice!
Are you officially old when you start liking men with beards? Not the full on Santa Clause thing, but the nice neat and trimmed variety....ah who am I kidding liking a beard is still liking a beard! What is it about not having net curtains up that means it is an open invite for people to stare into your house? I'm not being righteous, I do it too!
Why does the inside of a passion fruit look like frog spawn?
Why is a dragon fruit called a dragon fruit? Why do I have a bottomless pit for a stomach lately?
What part of my death stare wasn't clearly the coded message 'I'm cold, leave that heater on and you make your own tea!' What can I say?...I'm grumpy when I'm cold and tired. Sometimes, just sometimes, I don't even have to be cold and tired to be grumpy.
Why my big sister T thinks that because I've injured myself through exercise and kickboxing she has a right to tell me 'err I'm actually really annoyed. Tash grow up' on Facebook? Yup, really feeling the love there. Twat!
Why don't people engage their brains and sensibilities before opening their mouths? How do bees manage to fly and stay airborne? Is my general grumpiness and tiredness down to PMT or L about to go away?
Why my iPod, or podge as I call it, dumped its charge right when I had pysched myself up for going for my first run in about 6 weeks? (thank you!!) Huh Zumba on the xbox it is then.
Why the moment I have leave does L stop doing chores like emptying the dishwasher? Does anyone else hate emptying the dishwasher as much as I do? Does anyone else think that that statement is beyond lazy?
If I'm not being just a little paranoid and silly thinking that although I know I'm not the only working childless army wife on this estate I still feel different in a negative way?
Does anyone else like to people watch? I like watching families and their offspring and working out whose genes were stronger.
Pumpkin Spice syrup....what was I thinking?! It does not taste good. Damn, I'm so disappointed!
Why I dreamt that my front room was covered in snails and slugs? I also dreamt I trod on one and ended up kicking L as I freaked out.
Why does toast always fall butter side down?
Why am I still hungry and thinking about food even though I've had a breakfast (porridge)?
Where I am going to find the motivation to get up off the sofa and do my chores?
Why did it take me so long to discover peanut butter filled pretzels?
How much water am I going to drink in an attempt to get rid of this headache before I admit defeat and take a pill? One litre down who knows how many more to follow.
Would I have made it to 5 foot 2 inches if mum hadn't smoked whilst pregnant with me?
Why I feel so unbelievably tired and hungry?
I might as well take up a plot in front of the cupboard and sit there for the amount of time I've spent rifling through it and cramming things into my mouth.
Did my new next door neighbour really turn her nose up at being friends because she's unsure of L's nickname?
Seriously love, have a word with yourself!! Dare I admit 2 days into our Easter holidays, well not even 2 days really, and I'm bored?
Which neighbourly cat I need to thank for leaving the kind offering of a creature's paw on my doorstep?
I had to examine it closely and poke it a few times with my foot before I realised what it was. Apparently the blood around it wasn't enough of a give away.
Where I can find a new hairdresser? The one I currently use has a daughter at the school I work and she asks me probing questions despite knowing I can't talk about it.
If our British weather will make its mind up any day soon?
Lovely and hot last week and the week before but now....I'm pretty sure that that was hail that drenched me while I was desperately pulling clothes off the washing line.
Why I can't stop thinking I'm a day ahead?
For weeks when it got to Wednesday afternoon I was convinced it was Thursday, today I could have sworn it was Wednesday.
Am I really that run down and is my immune system that I'm back to suffering with cold sores and around my nose no less? Nice!
Are you officially old when you start liking men with beards? Not the full on Santa Clause thing, but the nice neat and trimmed variety....ah who am I kidding liking a beard is still liking a beard! What is it about not having net curtains up that means it is an open invite for people to stare into your house? I'm not being righteous, I do it too!
Why does the inside of a passion fruit look like frog spawn?
Why is a dragon fruit called a dragon fruit? Why do I have a bottomless pit for a stomach lately?
What part of my death stare wasn't clearly the coded message 'I'm cold, leave that heater on and you make your own tea!' What can I say?...I'm grumpy when I'm cold and tired. Sometimes, just sometimes, I don't even have to be cold and tired to be grumpy.
Why my big sister T thinks that because I've injured myself through exercise and kickboxing she has a right to tell me 'err I'm actually really annoyed. Tash grow up' on Facebook? Yup, really feeling the love there. Twat!
Why don't people engage their brains and sensibilities before opening their mouths? How do bees manage to fly and stay airborne? Is my general grumpiness and tiredness down to PMT or L about to go away?
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