I sat across the table from them, cold yet sweating. I knew my time would come and that there would be questions that would need answering but forewarned wasn't automatically forearmed.
My defences we're in place and his disarming charm did little to reassure or lower my inhibitions.
I answered their questions truthfully with no embellishments and no agenda. It wasn't a pleasant experience.
I'm there for the better part of 3 hours, talking them through my day, giving them the bare facts and sticking to the question being asked.
The thing that has stuck with me the most...his comment that he's concerned I'm so focused on my class and my job I'm becoming 'entrenched' and he's worried about the pyschology impact this could have on me down the line...
I'm both stunned and not surprised at all.
He said it wasn't a criticism....but it feels like one, perhaps because it's true.
Monday, 30 March 2015
Monday, 23 March 2015
Trials Vs Triumps
Lately my life has felt like a series of trials in which I am just trying to make it through the week with my inner monologue in tact.
Today I failed.
First, I uncerimoniously told a packed staff meeting I wasn't onboard with a last minute activities week. Second, I told my pregnant TA maybe she shouldn't be in the classroom any more because every time she left it due to feeling vulnerable around our children she left the teacher she was working with also vulnerable. Third, I bluntly told the other NQT he had screwed up my evening with his last minute changes to the timetable.
Clearly the socially expected thing for me to do was smile sweetly and tell them all "No, it's fine, I'll make it work". Nah ahh.
But to end on a positive...whe I told a child last week that I didn't expect to have him direct that kind of language at me again (bitch, slut) and he said "ok" I took that as a triump.
Just managing my expectations there.
Today I failed.
First, I uncerimoniously told a packed staff meeting I wasn't onboard with a last minute activities week. Second, I told my pregnant TA maybe she shouldn't be in the classroom any more because every time she left it due to feeling vulnerable around our children she left the teacher she was working with also vulnerable. Third, I bluntly told the other NQT he had screwed up my evening with his last minute changes to the timetable.
Clearly the socially expected thing for me to do was smile sweetly and tell them all "No, it's fine, I'll make it work". Nah ahh.
But to end on a positive...whe I told a child last week that I didn't expect to have him direct that kind of language at me again (bitch, slut) and he said "ok" I took that as a triump.
Just managing my expectations there.
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