Weighing the Truth

I sat across the table from them, cold yet sweating. I knew my time would come and that there would be questions that would need answering but forewarned wasn't automatically forearmed.

My defences we're in place and his disarming charm did little to reassure or lower my inhibitions.

I answered their questions truthfully with no embellishments and no agenda. It wasn't a pleasant experience.

I'm there for the better part of 3 hours, talking them through my day, giving them the bare facts and sticking to the question being asked.

The thing that has stuck with me the most...his comment that he's concerned I'm so focused on my class and my job I'm becoming 'entrenched' and he's worried about the pyschology impact this could have on me down the line...

I'm both stunned and not surprised at all.

He said it wasn't a criticism....but it feels like one, perhaps because it's true.

Sharing the Red Crayon

There are many things which play on my mind and give me pause for thought, I've dedicated (although not so much lately) a regular post every Wednesday to such mental musings, yet I only have one thing on my mind right now....why some adults are completely unable to 'play nicely' with others?

I've just spent the day working on a group Science presentation for AFL (assessment for learning) with 3 others. We will be assessed ourselves on it in two weeks. We're all adults training to be teachers, yet two of them were distinctly UNABLE to accept others' ideas and to compromise. It is safe to say they haven't yet learnt to share the red crayon.

One, who has a degree in Art, was incredibly put out by my injection of random pictures coloured in and cut out to feature as a boarder for our poster. I'm not entirely sure what offended her most: the fact the drawings came from a colouring in book or that there was no 'pattern' to where I had placed them. Apparently in marketing you need to stick to 'one concept'....I resisted the urge to say 'we're not in marketing and we're not trying to sell anything' but I didn't. It would have been counterproductive. And quite frankly the whole thing is just not that important.

Perhaps it is an age thing, as in I'm getting more perceptive, but the older I get the more frequently I see inflexibility, intolerance and rigidness in others which all really come down to displays of ego centric behaviour. The kind of behaviour I expect to see in children. Not adults.

I shouldn't surprise me but it does. How are we going to be 'models' to young children and teach them how to function as a valued member of society if we don't practice it ourselves? It's just a Science presentation admittedly and obviously after this course I never have to see or speak to these people again, which to be frank going by my track record is precisely what will happen. That's neither here nor there and I digress, I guess the point I am taking the scenic route in making is that I'm astounded that there are people, adults, out there in this world who have the social skills of a dying rabid wolf.

I'm far from perfect and I certainly have my moments of digging my heals in to get my own way, but I pick my battles and when it's over something equivalent to sharing the red crayon....go ahead be my guest.

5 Things You Didn't know About Moi

A friend commented that people find me very hard to get to know.  Moi?  Surely not, I'm positively an open book when it comes to my inner thoughts / emotions etc.  If you know me that is.

She said I had to post up 5 things everyday about myself for the next 5 days that are the absolute painful truth.  So, on that note here you go

1. I have suffered with anxiety problems and depression in the last year or so
2. I have - in my youth - smoked a lot of weed, experimented with other drugs including cocaine, ecstasy and poppers, and I'm an occassional binge drinker and smoker
3. I still think about my ex 
4. I suffer with intense jealousy from time to time
5. I find it easier to deal with anger than I do hurt or any other emotion both within myself and anyone else

And there you have it.