Feeling down earlier I turned to baking for comfort. It used to be something I did for other people’s pleasure and enjoyment, now I do it because it's a means of distracting myself.
My favourite cookbook at the moment (it changes, often) is The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook. The one before that was a collection of cook books presented very prettily in a hat box called Sugar and Spice, the one before that was a Vegetarian one, the one before that was Green and Blacks, the one before that was a Wuzzle one (don’t ask) and before that probably Mrs Beeton and a dozen or so in between that I can’t remember.
Getting back to The Hummingbird one it seems this is the one that I dip into most making quite a few from it's pages – the New York Cheesecake, Banana Loaf, Chocolate Brownies – tonight I opted for the Banana Loaf. My bananas in the fruit bowl were looking like they were, at any moment, about to give up the will to live. That and I couldn’t get hold of any buttermilk to make the Blueberry Muffins (they are also looking pretty pitiful in my fridge, I can feel a cheesecake coming on at the weekend). Clearly I am not a big fruit eater, unless it comes caked in ...well cake. Although, that said I’ve taken to baking and then giving my efforts away, it’s no longer the rule of ‘If I’m going to get fat you’re going to get fat with me’ it’s become ‘I bake, you get fat by yourself’.
I’ve discovered that there is something very reassuring about baking, about following a recipe step-by-step and getting the exact result that you expected. Why? Well I guess it’s about control and using what is a tried and tested method. You are given clear and concise instructions; you know exactly what to do, when to do it and how much effort is required. You also know precisely how long it is going to take before you get your perfect result. You don’t have to wait an indefinite amount of time for things to change, or for things to become solid, real and tangible. Sooner than you realise that batter turns to a cake, it turns into something real.
Like I said very reassuring. When life throws all manner of unexpected things at you from seemingly out of nowhere, you can count on baking to restore the feeling of order to your life. The simple steps of creaming sugar, butter and eggs together with plain flour and a pinch of baking soda or powder brings back the feelings of calmness. There is no confusion as what is needed from you and when because it’s all there in black in white before you, and more than this you know you can cope – you can do it. The guidelines are there, the instructions are there, all that you have to do is allow yourself to be guided safe in the knowledge others have trod in those same footsteps before you. The exact number of how many?...who knows and for once it isn’t about safety in numbers, its about the mere fact of knowing someone has gone before you, tried it before you and is there to guide you. It’s about knowing that should you need the support, the advice, help that there is someone to turn to and something to draw encouragement and confidence from. Baking is certain and the path is mapped out - the same can’t be said of many other things.
Food for thought.
