Jealousy is NOT an attractive trait

L and I went to a friend's wedding a few weekends ago.

I wore an antique cream coloured floaty affair, it was an inch or two above the knee and came down pretty low but held my C cups firmly, and tastefully I add, in place. I teamed it with a black linen jacket that had the same shade of cream piping and clipped a cream feathery fabric rose to the lapel. I looked...okay. Fit for a military wedding at any rate.

Despite my C cups not being as much on show as some buxom ladies I still felt a little self-conscious: I'm in my mid-thirties, sporting a short pixie crop hair cut I'm not sure about and am a good 10lbs heavier than I should be. Plus, L hardly spoke to me ALL evening and when he did he was terse and fault finding. I think you would have been hard pressed to know we were married! Not that that kind of thing upsets me, usually, and ordinarily it wouldn't but he's been distant lately.

That's not all though and ordinarily I wouldn't have been threatened by him spending the better part of 2 hours speaking to a 22 year old officer...ordinarily...but I'm in my mid-thirties, sporting a short pixie crop hair cut I'm not sure about and am a good 10lbs heavier than I should be. Even that alone wouldn't usually be enough to make my green eyed monster surface either, at least not enough for me to show it.

What made me freak out was how much L enjoyed the attention. He did look handsome in his uniform, he always does. That said, L has never really noticed when women are coming on to him, in fact I'd say he probably only notices maybe 4 times out of 10 and that's being generous. He's modest and shy and self-conscious like that.

Beside L KNOWING this woman was hitting on him plus the fact he's STILL talking about it and mentioning her 2 weeks later...that's what has made me want become territorial and want to hiss and spit at this woman like an alley cat before screeching my war cry and launching myself (undignified and uncouthed) at her. Obviously I didn't and haven't (haven't seen her or I might still be doing that squinty eyed thing which says 'don't walk down any dark hallways alone') but I did nastily comment to L 'I didn't see anything worth feeling threatened about'. Meaning her.

I know, I know. I should know better, I should be secure in myself, I should trust him....etc But ugh I don't and it's definitely more about me than him.

What's a woman to do?...I'm in my mid-thirties, sporting a short pixie crop hair cut im unsure of and am a good 10lbs heavier than I should be.