The Pipe Piper's Call...

I'm often complaining about what I feel is a lack of control in and over my life - you only have to look at my incredibly neat underwear drawer to know I have control issues (don't ask, but yes apparently when I'm feeling insecure, vulnerable, frustrated, anxious and like I am lacking control nothing is a big security blanket of reassurance like tidying my underwear draw....yeah, the less said about that one the better really)

The thing is, and I can only shake my head at myself in exasperation and with a complete lack of surprise, but I am ready for a move, A BIG MOVE, as in abroad now.

I know we're moving on from this area and current posting in August/September next year but I really want it to be a big move, not just an hour down the road as is currently anticipated.

Where would I like to go?.....I want to go to Canada.

Over the last few weeks I've found myself, however subconsciously, wishing and thinking of moving to Canada with a great deal of longing.

Why Canada?....Who knows for certain where my psyche is concerned, sometimes I convinced that it has a complete mind of its own!  I have been there before and I loved it, it felt like...home. I could see myself living there and being happy.

Is this desire to move just me being restless?... Well, I don't think so,  usually I only feel like moving or going off and doing something else when I'm not feeling challenged and my job is definitely challenging. 

I'm just ready to move now.  I'm ready for a complete change of scenery and a whole new experience.  I want to start completely fresh, in a totally strange place, surrounded by utter unfamiliarity.  Yes I will forgive you for wanting to know if Little Miss I Don't Like Change has had a bump on the head (I did but that was on Friday, whacked it on a wall....don't ask) Suspected Concussion aside, I can't explain this sudden overwhelming desire, to the point of sending out positive thoughts/wishes at every opportunity, for a move to Canada.

Me?  The woman who is more fear than courage, more doubt than confidence, more pessimism than optimism, is actively sending out to the cosmos positive thoughts for Canada???  I am sure stranger things have been known than this phenomenon, it's just that I can't for the life of me name any!

Thoughts of moving and Canada started a few weeks ago, whispering to me like the faint sound of a song heard but so quiet as to make it impossible to determine what was being sung.  Gradually as time passed it got louder and louder, like I moved closer to it, until I (almost) felt like my feet were compelled to dance to the tune of the pipe pipers call to move to Canada.

So strange...