One Sense of Humour Lost, If Found Please Return to Me!

I was going to write L a letter today, just now in fact, but....I'm not in a good mood;-(

It's nothing in particular just a few things that have tipped the balance, and me in that same process, into an unhappy funk.  I didn't want to write to L whilst in this mood or to have him worry about the things that are worrying me.  So, I'm going to dump them here and then clean in an attempt to purge myself.

First, I miss L.  Very much.  He annoys the hell out of me when he's here (more often than not) and I often feel like he expects me to only have a life when he's not here, which builds resentment.  All that said, I am missing him like mad and feeling the absence of him more keenly than I expected.

I got paid today but when I checked my bank account the amount was so little that I am assuming that they've got it wrong.  I'll have to wait until I get my wage slip to double check and will need to have a chat with someone but now I'm beginning to doubt myself....what if I've got it wrong (i.e. what the job was paying when I took it) and that paltry amount paid into my bank IS my monthly wage???  With that doubt comes about a million other questions like how am I going to pay off the rest of my loan, save for my Teaching Course, give K and R a wedding present, pay my sister L back for the tickets she bought for me to the Christmas Fare this coming Sunday, afford to go to London and spend the weekend with my friend T, afford to pay a train ticket to be there for my sister T's graduation and go for lunch, survive on that amount of money and finally and the most important one of all - tell L that I got YET another thing WRONG?

I've watched all the families on our estate putting up their Halloween decoration this weekend and all it's done is serve as another reminder that L isn't here.  We always get a pumpkin and carve it together.  My sister T and her husband always come to us and we either go out for a meal or get a take away.

Because I'm unsure of whether the amount I've been paid is right or not I've not been able to go out and buy sweets for the trick or treaters that will be coming out to play (beg really) any moment now, which means I will not be putting my porch light on and handing out sweets but rather hiding upstairs feeling guilty that I have nothing to hand out.  May be I'll go to Sainsburys instead and sit and have a coffee in Starbucks until I know they're all done.

A friend offered to take me to a mutual friend's wedding reception about a month ago, then two days ago she pulls out saying she hadn't realised that I don't live on the way to the venue so it's not convenient.  She was really apologetic but I am a little miffed to say the least.

I've had to evict yet more slugs from my house!

The plumber who came out Thursday to fix the cistern on my upstairs toilet didn't do the job properly resulting in me discovering my bathroom floor covered in water yesterday.  I called MHS yesterday - as I'm meant to - they sent another plumber who was supposed to arrive within 3 hours and didn't.  He couldn't fix the problem, so I have yet ANOTHER plumber coming out to me Tuesday afternoon after work.  Apparently.  Excuse me if I don't hold my breath.

After months of being clear of cold sores two days ago I woke up with one.  Thanks for that.

Well, I think that's enough negativity for one Monday.  I'm off to clean my kitchen and hoover my house, oh and probably throw out a few more slugs too!