Mute

Have you ever found yourself in a place - state of mind - that you just can't seem to get out of?

The thing is I've lost my voice. I've lost the ability to talk to people and get things off my chest. I don't trust any one any more, which is kind of a moot point because even if I did trust I still wouldn't talk ...I can't. I've lost my voice.

I don't know how to open up any more. I know holding things back creates a chasm between me and the people I love ...but...I still can't bring myself to say anything about the things that are upsetting me, the things that scare me, or the things that weigh heavy inside.

I want more than anything to be held and comforted and reassured. I need to hear that everything is going to be okay, that I've made the right choices and that I've haven't done anything wrong. I've tried taking the plunge and being honest but...the words won't come out. My tongue gets stuck to the roof of my mouth and the words, all the things that I need to say, get stuck in my throat.

I don't understand how I got here. I don't understand how I got to this place of needing closeness, of needing to reach out and be comforted yet unable to do so.