Some Dear Letters

Dear Sleep Fairy,

I am just writing to apologise for anything that I have said or done to offend you that has made you feel I am not appreciative of your visits.  Please, please could you come back?....

Yours humbly....a haggard and grey looking Tasha



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Dear Insomnia Fairy,

Hi, are you enjoying your extended stay with me?  Yeah, I kind of thought you might be.  Well now here's the thing, while I think you have you uses (when I have a essay to write, or a personal statement or something) I need you to leave now.

I know this sounds ungrateful but I am shattered and swiftly losing the ability to string a coherent sentence together, which means I have to resort to silence and I've always got something to say.  So, being silent and unable to say dry witty things....isn't working for me.

I'm going to make a deal with you, I have a trip planned to the other side of the world in the New Year, which will inevitably involve a measure of jet lag.  So the deal I am offering is, how about you go and visit someone else for a couple of weeks and then you can come back and stay with me again for a few days under the invite of jet lag?  Think it over.

Yours tiredly and feeling a little queasy,

Tasha


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Dear L,

Come home now, please?  I'm fed up of being alone and I miss you.  I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's nearly lunch time and I'm still in my pjs...

My world is grey, cold and quiet when you're not here, so please, can you come home now?

Yours a sulking and tired Tasha



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Dear moody brittle and abrupt work colleague,

I was going to start this letter with a demand to know 'what is your problem?' but that is very judgemental and confrontational....but, ah to hell with it 'what is your problem?' 

I'd like to know if you are aware of how your attitude, tone of voice and general demeanour affects everyone else at work?  I understand that you've a had a rough time of it lately and I sympathise, I really do.  However, I would like to point out you aren't alone in this predicament and you really would get a great deal more support if you didn't strop around the place with a face like thunder throwing your toys out of your pram at the drop of a hat when you aren't the centre of attention.

We are all here for you, but you have to let us get close and pushing us away with snide abrupt and down right rudeness isn't going to endear you to us or make us inclined to want to be there for you. 

Birds of a feather stick together.

Yours a slightly terse but still caring Tasha


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Dear EBay sellers who have marked by items as dispatched,

Erm I think you might be lying there because it's 4 days later and they still haven't arrived. 

I'm aware that it's Christmas and I need to exercise some patience and I would - if you didn't lie.

Get a move on and get that stuff to me with a sense of urgency please!

Yours a poised to give negative feedback Tasha



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Dear Stomach,

You have been given a cup of tea and breakfast, so stop your grumbling and rumbling.

You know how it works - exercise first, food after.

Yours a wanting to drop another 6lbs Tasha


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Dear next door neighbours,


Hi, how's things?  Good I hope.

I have a request, could you please stop slamming your doors, stomping up your stairs, banging on the walls and playing your music really loud?  I know a couple of weeks ago you had to listen to me a friend spiritedly, okay drunkenly, singing loudly and playing so many different kinds of music you'd be forgiven for thinking that we're bipolar, but that was one night.  You're banging, bad music, stomping etc has been going on for WEEKS.  MONTHS even.

Thanks, your friendly neighbour who wishes you a merry Christmas and happy holidays Tasha;-)


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Dear Tasha,

Yes this really is a letter to yourself....GET UP OFF THE SOFA AND GET DRESSED - IT'S LUNCH TIME!!!!

I really do think that you would feel better if you went upstairs, got dressed in your fizz kit, did a Zumba Class and some yoga, then had a nice soak in the bath.  Come on, you know you would too!

While you're upstairs getting dressed don't be afraid to hang out the washing and make the bed too.  Just saying, you could kill 3 birds with 1 stone if you did.

Yours a concerned Tasha

PS don't forget to hydrate yourself while you about such things upstairs, there's a camelbak full of water up there that you didn't drink last night.

Dear Letters and a Wing and Prayer

Dear Disturbed Sleep Pattern,

Remember me?  Why am I asking you this?!  Of course you remember me you've been my constant companion and house guest for over 3 years!  Silly me.

Any way, here's the thing and I'm just going to be really up front and honest...you have to leave.  Its been great having you, well actually no it hasn't been great its been.... exhausting and interesting and distracting and ... you have to go!  You don't bring out the best in me; you make more tearful and unreasonable, you cost me a fortune in make up in trying to hide the bags and make myself look less pale than the undead, you make me crave caffeine and sugar (I'm not really allowed these in large quantities), you make me lose my focus and I tired and just not functioning as a human being.

So its been...erm nice but bye.  I appreciate your coming to visit, your companionship when L's been away and without you I would have forgotten how beautiful the sound of the birds dawn chorus can be but it time for you to GO.

Yours exhausted

A knackered, pale and pasty and dark circled eyed Tasha



Dear British Weather,

My garden and flower pots would like to thank you for the recent rain because I have been just a little neglectful.  They really are looking much more perky and for that I thank you (between you and me I have plenty of enthusiasm but not so many green fingers).

Gratitude aside do you think there is any chance of having the sun back?  I am starting to contemplate putting the heating back on.

Yours speculatively

A cold and pale and pasty Tasha



Dear L,

Let me just start by telling you how much I love you and appreciate all that you do for me - I couldn't want for a better husband and I don't!  You really are the best and no one looks after me the way that you do.

I have ONE favour to ask - could you please, please rinse the bath out after yourself when you've had a one, especially when we both know I've just cleaned/scrubbed it?  The huffing and puffing would go away if you did.

Yours appreciatively

A slightly peeved and chemical reddened hands from cleaning Tasha



Dear Primary Schools - in particular Head Teachers and Secretaries of the UK,

I understand that you guys have an incredibly tough and demanding and important job to do and that you really don't need anything or anyone to add to it or make it harder.  I understand that yours is often a thankless job with little or no support and high demands.  I understand that more often than not you are raising other people's children and teaching them life skills like manners, how to socialise, acceptable behaviour as well as providing much needed emotional support.  I really do understand that but if you would just give me a chance I could show you that I won't make your day any harder.

I think I would make a great teacher, I have patience, I am good with kids, I like kids (which lets be honest is a really good start and rather essential), I love learning, I love passing on the excitement and amazement of learning something new, I want to be a part of guiding the young minds of our world as they navigate expanding their world with so many mind blowing things.  I want the chance to feel that intense feeling of pride in myself and my student when I make a break through with them, when they begin to trust me, when I see what their special requirement is and I fulfil it for them.  I want that.  I want all those things and I think I can DO those things if someone just believes in me for a second.

So, please, please just give me the chance to show you all of this by giving me the time of day, returning my phone calls and allowing me to get my class room observation experience so that I can at least meet the course requirements.  I won't let you down and you'll get the chance to say you saw something in someone that no one else bothered to look for.

Yours humbly

A very quiet and patient Tasha who fears one of her dreams is going to be taken away from her if someone doesn't give her a chance.

Random Letters

Dear Electricity Company,

While I appreciate that some 'emergency work' is legitimate and doesn't give you any warning as to when it needs to be carried out - yup the clue was in the word 'emergency' - but have ALL the power cuts we've had recently really been because of emergency work??? I'm not convinced.

Also, do you think that you could carry out this emergency work in summer when my house isn't freezing and I have a BBQ that I can use to make myself some dinner?

Your loyal customer.


Dear you-know-who,

Please stop playing the part of the victim and painting me as a bad friend to other people, we both know that is far from the truth.

Yes I am pissed, no I don't want to hear your excuses that I make you feel like I don't care - there are only so many ways that I can phrase the advice you keep asking for no matter often you ask or how you ask. The fact remains my answer will be the same regardless.

Your not so impressed and very mad friend,


Dear next door's cat,

Please yack on your own stairs and not mine. I am a little accident prone and would just like to avoid skidding on it and landing on my butt in afore mentioned yack.

Your cat-friendly neighbour,


Dear chocolate in the garage,

Please could you stop your siren like calling to me? I am on a diet - well okay not a diet so much as trying not to eat bad food - and I'm finding it extremely hard to block out your alluring singing.

I appreciate that you're feeling incredibly unloved, especially if I remember that when L was away we spent many nights tucked up in a blanket on the sofa watching bad TV together. I will never forget how many times you have been there for me; you've comforted me when I've been upset and crying, you've cheered me up when I've had a bad day at work, you've accompanied me to the cinema, you calmed me down when I was stressed during my Masters and you've sat on the sofa to watch inane TV when I've been anti-social. You've no idea just how thankful I am for every single one of those times when you were there for me...but right now we just can't be together. I'm sorry.

I promise that this is not the end of our love affair but rather just some needed time apart.

Your loving and sad best friend,

A Letter to my Immune System

Dear Immune System,

I know you've had a hard run of it lately. Yes Iam guilty of having thrown more than one late night at you, a few drinking sessions, some junk food, sickly children (friend's), long walks in horrible weather, and the usual - plenty of stress. To that I can only hold my hands up and accept the charges. That said I hardly think I deserve this latest, what can only be called at best a leave of absence and at worst a temper tantrum.

I am not pleased that I feel like crap yet again a mere 5 weeks from last having a cold and feeling like crap. I do not appreciate the constant headaches, the tickly and sore throat, the tight chest, aching legs and the backache. Oh and the nausea, let's not forget that, it really is far from pleasant.

I am, however, quite reasonable as you well know, and promise that if you could just come back fighting fit and help me get through the next week or so I will ... be good. I will space out my late nights, exercise more to vent my stress, avoid junk food (as best as I can seeing that I am a woman), wear appropriate clothing for the weather and avoid other people with the plague, where humanly possible. I do draw the line at wearing one of those ridiculous masks. That one is non-negotiable.

Agreed? Do we have a deal?

You're going to have to do your bit first though because I can't very well leap around energetically to vent stress if I am in danger of passing out, nor can I eat healthy foods if they all taste like they've been dragged out of the bottom of my bin. Oh and I might as well add that I can't get fresh air either if I'm not feeling very well, because the neighbours really don't want to see me staggering around in the road trailing a blanket that I've tried to drape about myself for warmth just to get the fresh air.

I'll give you 24 hours to sleep on it.

Yours appreciatively,

Poorly Natasha

Day 30 A Letter to Yourself, Tell Yourself EVERYTHING You Love About Yourself

Dear Tash,

*big sigh and shake of the head* What am I going to do with you? Okay listen up babe because I'm only going to say this once...

I know the past few years have been pretty shitty and you often felt like giving in...but you didn't. You dropped your head to your chest and battled harder and you got through it. Let's not over look the fact you had some help from friends along the way but the most important thing is that YOU GOT THROUGH IT and its over. You have great strength and determination Natasha, and you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I just think that you forget that sometimes in your haste to demand perfection from yourself and others.

It is true that you aren't perfect (I might like to add that no one is) but there are so many things that you're good at, so many people that like you - faults and all - for who you are. You have a good heart Natasha and you're always there when people need you. You have a great sense of humour and its a gift to be able to make people smile when just a few moments ago they were crying, don't ignore that.

You have a great flair for creativity and a fantastic imagination, some people don't and can't imagine their life any other way than it is. You don't realise how lucky you are that the same can't be said for you, when things get tough you don't give in, you imagine your life better and butt your head up against whatever is in your way until you get through it. That is not a small thing Natasha.

I have one last thing to say (your standing before yourself now - adult to child - and I'm fixing your (my) collar, tugging your coat straight, smoothing your untidy hair and lastly cupping your chin and tilting your head up to look up at me) cut yourself some slack once in a while Natasha. You don't have to have everything figured out now and you simply can't control everything in life.

Remember, it is a good thing that no one else can be you. Now, go out and play and have some fun.

Love you, love me x

ps you made it through 30 days of truth...don't you feel better for it?...too soon to ask? Okay go play.