I have had a humdinger of a day today; tears and the giggles, although not at the same time. I might have peed myself a little bit if I had. Isn't that a nice picture for you?
Put it this way, my day has been so bad I've not bothered to eat (the blueberry muffin and slack handful of liquorice don't count in any one's world), shot glassed a large glass of wine (mulled of course...get over the fact it's May and I'm drinking mulled wine) taken a Advil PM and am in bed at 9 o'clock.
I'm far too upset and frustrated to be caustically witty about this all, hence my retreat from the world, other than to say giggles, tears and wine...why aren't I just the quintessential female?
Monday, 21 May 2012
Sunday, 20 May 2012
Falling Apart at the Seems. Apparently.
It would seem that I am falling apart at the seems at the moment.
Not only have I got a damaged hoof (I've damaged the tendon of my left foot) but I also have had a muscle twitch in the lid of my left eye for the last two weeks and now I have the flu!
Seriously immune system are you kidding me?!
Achy head and body, dry scratchy throat and the chills = one grumpy Tash! Does my immune system not know that I'm far too busy and have far too much going on to be sick right now???
Plus L's away so I have no one to take care of me...;(
Ah well, good job I'm one of those independent military wives who doesn't sit around on the sofa scowling and sulking and feeling sorry for herself...the less said about that one the better!
Not only have I got a damaged hoof (I've damaged the tendon of my left foot) but I also have had a muscle twitch in the lid of my left eye for the last two weeks and now I have the flu!
Seriously immune system are you kidding me?!
Achy head and body, dry scratchy throat and the chills = one grumpy Tash! Does my immune system not know that I'm far too busy and have far too much going on to be sick right now???
Plus L's away so I have no one to take care of me...;(
Ah well, good job I'm one of those independent military wives who doesn't sit around on the sofa scowling and sulking and feeling sorry for herself...the less said about that one the better!
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
Wednesday Wonderings
It's that time of the week again...when I project some of my randomness into the blogosphere and give credence to the general opinion that I'm a law unto myself.
Boy did I have a busy weekend, achieved nothing but it was busy! I say achieved nothing and what that actually means is my list of things 'to do' was too long to be achievable. Meh to that.
Why I love cloud watching so much?
Why I suddenly can't stop craving sweet things in the evening?
Was I the only person to get slightly sun burnt at the May Fayre? Definitely more than a shade of blush today.
Why despite all my best plans to get to bed early because to be blunt I'm knackered and could really do with an early night, am I never in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour?
Am I the only person to suffer with 'have iPad, will shop'? So dangerous!
Is 34 too young to be thinking about seriously getting into and buying anti ageing creams? My eyes are looking crinkly and the lines aren't from laughter. Don't ask me about the grey hairs either.
Did L line up for a biological clock in my place when Mother Nature was giving things out?
Why do people think asking questions like 'what's the worst that can happen?' when you need reassurance not fuel to feed the flames of your over active imagination is helpful?
How did people mistake me looking sun burnt today as revitalised? I think the description they were looking for was toasted.
How hard is it to call a person back? I'm CRB cleared and offering free labour guys!
Why does my mouth write cheques my body and need for solitude can't cash?
When am I going to get rid of the flowers that are sitting on my table - yes I own one of those now, I'm like officially an adult or something - that have been dead for nearly 2 weeks?
Why does my line manager think that it is a) appropriate to lie, b) that she won't get caught in a lie, c) okay to undermine her staff's confidence, d) consistently fail to take responsibility for her department and e) try to pit us against each other?
What kind of person does the above?
Why haven't senior management, who are aware of her...poor management style and suitability (to be courteous about it), done anything about it?
Am I really losing hundreds of words from my vocabulary on a daily basis like I fear? Every day there seems to be a new old word that I can't recall, either what it is or how to spell it? That really scares me - every day I'm growing stupider!
Did I really bounce around in the staff room and then skip about in excitement at the sight of my course books in Amazon packaging? Apparently so.
What is more embarrassing that I did the above or didn't perceive a problem with what I was doing and squealed, 'my books! How exciting!' followed by more bouncing and skipping?
Boy did I have a busy weekend, achieved nothing but it was busy! I say achieved nothing and what that actually means is my list of things 'to do' was too long to be achievable. Meh to that.
Why I love cloud watching so much?
Why I suddenly can't stop craving sweet things in the evening?
Was I the only person to get slightly sun burnt at the May Fayre? Definitely more than a shade of blush today.
Why despite all my best plans to get to bed early because to be blunt I'm knackered and could really do with an early night, am I never in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour?
Am I the only person to suffer with 'have iPad, will shop'? So dangerous!
Is 34 too young to be thinking about seriously getting into and buying anti ageing creams? My eyes are looking crinkly and the lines aren't from laughter. Don't ask me about the grey hairs either.
Did L line up for a biological clock in my place when Mother Nature was giving things out?
Why do people think asking questions like 'what's the worst that can happen?' when you need reassurance not fuel to feed the flames of your over active imagination is helpful?
How did people mistake me looking sun burnt today as revitalised? I think the description they were looking for was toasted.
How hard is it to call a person back? I'm CRB cleared and offering free labour guys!
Why does my mouth write cheques my body and need for solitude can't cash?
When am I going to get rid of the flowers that are sitting on my table - yes I own one of those now, I'm like officially an adult or something - that have been dead for nearly 2 weeks?
Why does my line manager think that it is a) appropriate to lie, b) that she won't get caught in a lie, c) okay to undermine her staff's confidence, d) consistently fail to take responsibility for her department and e) try to pit us against each other?
What kind of person does the above?
Why haven't senior management, who are aware of her...poor management style and suitability (to be courteous about it), done anything about it?
Am I really losing hundreds of words from my vocabulary on a daily basis like I fear? Every day there seems to be a new old word that I can't recall, either what it is or how to spell it? That really scares me - every day I'm growing stupider!
Did I really bounce around in the staff room and then skip about in excitement at the sight of my course books in Amazon packaging? Apparently so.
What is more embarrassing that I did the above or didn't perceive a problem with what I was doing and squealed, 'my books! How exciting!' followed by more bouncing and skipping?
Saturday, 12 May 2012
On the Wings of the Caffeine Fairy
It isn't even lunch time and I can already tell that it is going to be one of those days!
First, I had yet another dire nights sleep, lots of tossing and turning and waking up for various nonsense reasons, like being in pain with my foot.
Second, I woke up with a banging headache that really did feel like a hangover. Really? After only one bad a half ciders, are you kidding me?!
Third, I've just spent nearly an hour fixing our coffee machine so that I can get my caffeine fix before starting my mountainous list of chores.
Fourth, my body has decided it's going to do its own thing and my period has come early. By a week.
If I were a paranoid and suspicious person I would begin to ask myself what bad person I have been in a previous life to deserves this...
But I've got my caffeine fix, I've paid the credit card bill and time and chores wait for no woman's contemplation. So it's time to don the cleanings fairy outfit and on the wings of coffee set my house in order.
Oh ps, happy weekend guys.
First, I had yet another dire nights sleep, lots of tossing and turning and waking up for various nonsense reasons, like being in pain with my foot.
Second, I woke up with a banging headache that really did feel like a hangover. Really? After only one bad a half ciders, are you kidding me?!
Third, I've just spent nearly an hour fixing our coffee machine so that I can get my caffeine fix before starting my mountainous list of chores.
Fourth, my body has decided it's going to do its own thing and my period has come early. By a week.
If I were a paranoid and suspicious person I would begin to ask myself what bad person I have been in a previous life to deserves this...
But I've got my caffeine fix, I've paid the credit card bill and time and chores wait for no woman's contemplation. So it's time to don the cleanings fairy outfit and on the wings of coffee set my house in order.
Oh ps, happy weekend guys.
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Chicken Licken Syndrome
I've lost my swimming goggles. Hm, well actually that's not entirely true because I know where I left them - at the swimming pool - so technically they're not lost. Technically they've been left behind and borrowed by someone else on a non-returnable basis.
I like the fluidity of language and the art of persuasion.
Which is more than likely why I suffer with what I like to call Chicken Licken syndrome.
That is to say I have this ability to argue so passionately and persuasively, with such conviction about something, that I often convince myself in the process.
Even when I start off knowing I'm stretching the truth to my own advantage, or even doubting the plausibility of what I'm saying, somehow I come away from the discussion completely convinced that it's the truth.
Huh, I guess my imagination will always - and here's hoping it does - get the better of me.
I like the fluidity of language and the art of persuasion.
Which is more than likely why I suffer with what I like to call Chicken Licken syndrome.
That is to say I have this ability to argue so passionately and persuasively, with such conviction about something, that I often convince myself in the process.
Even when I start off knowing I'm stretching the truth to my own advantage, or even doubting the plausibility of what I'm saying, somehow I come away from the discussion completely convinced that it's the truth.
Huh, I guess my imagination will always - and here's hoping it does - get the better of me.
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Wednesday Wonderings
Another week, another episode of randomness in terms of my thoughts...
Does anyone else start the run up to their diet by eating all the bad food in the house?
Just how many hours (maybe in to days or weeks now) of my 34 years have been spent removing hair from various parts of my body?
How often does the average woman think about sex?
Why do I always have nightmares when L goes away?
Why are women reputed to reach their sexual peak at 40 and men at 18?
Are you considered a man at 18? Not sure I was or could be called a woman at 18.
What made my mum behave so spitefully about buying my mother in law a mother's day present?
Could my heart have broke any more than when I woke up Tuesday smiling to realise that my dream of L having come home early was just that - a dream?
Why L has suddenly got into the having a child idea? He turned to me the other week, pointed to the little boy in the advert who was running around the place in Welles and a tiger outfit saying 'was sat?' to everything and asked, 'why don't we have one of those yet?'... I'm speechless! Make the most of it, it doesn't happen often.
Why I have so much to do and so little time, energy, inclination to do it? Guess it's time for a list! Argh!! (Actually a big fan of lists, just don't tell any one!)
Have I really just spent £50+ on 3 books for a ten month course?!
Why is that what I crave most when L goes away is time surrounded by him and family, the in-laws?
Should I publish a book called 'The Little Book of J Jones and Other Painful Experiences' detailing all the awful and head shake worthy things she has uttered to members of her team? Me things it would be on the scale of war and peace rather than anything little...
When did swimming pool etiquette go out of the window?
How odd is it that my sister in law and I share NOT only a first name, a surname BUT ALSO a MIDDLE name?...hm how Wuthering Heights!
Does anyone else start the run up to their diet by eating all the bad food in the house?
Just how many hours (maybe in to days or weeks now) of my 34 years have been spent removing hair from various parts of my body?
How often does the average woman think about sex?
Why do I always have nightmares when L goes away?
Why are women reputed to reach their sexual peak at 40 and men at 18?
Are you considered a man at 18? Not sure I was or could be called a woman at 18.
What made my mum behave so spitefully about buying my mother in law a mother's day present?
Could my heart have broke any more than when I woke up Tuesday smiling to realise that my dream of L having come home early was just that - a dream?
Why L has suddenly got into the having a child idea? He turned to me the other week, pointed to the little boy in the advert who was running around the place in Welles and a tiger outfit saying 'was sat?' to everything and asked, 'why don't we have one of those yet?'... I'm speechless! Make the most of it, it doesn't happen often.
Why I have so much to do and so little time, energy, inclination to do it? Guess it's time for a list! Argh!! (Actually a big fan of lists, just don't tell any one!)
Have I really just spent £50+ on 3 books for a ten month course?!
Why is that what I crave most when L goes away is time surrounded by him and family, the in-laws?
Should I publish a book called 'The Little Book of J Jones and Other Painful Experiences' detailing all the awful and head shake worthy things she has uttered to members of her team? Me things it would be on the scale of war and peace rather than anything little...
When did swimming pool etiquette go out of the window?
How odd is it that my sister in law and I share NOT only a first name, a surname BUT ALSO a MIDDLE name?...hm how Wuthering Heights!
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
Wednesday Wonderings
These posts where I pass on to others the random things I think about, contemplate, muse over, are meant to help you over the hump of the week - Wednesday - into the downward slope of Friday and the weekend. But truth be told I've been filled with a general apathy lately, a meh to quote Despicable Me, that has been aided and abetted by an upset stomach, a sore foot and sleepless nights.
To end this intro on a more positive note I will work on my optimism and realign my attitude. For the time being while I do that - which may well take some time - read on...
Did the duck sitting in a large puddle on the grass outside of Costco not wonder why its feet could touch the ground?
Are the gurgling and sloshing noises my stomach is making its way of saying what's wrong with it?
What's going on with me to make me so withdrawn and antisocial of late?
Is it weird that I get homesick for the States?
Why do I have the motivation and concentration span of a butterfly?
When will I stop suffering with serious CBA ( can't be arsed)?
Do I have a particularly virulent form of psoriasis that enables me to renew my skin and scale up in 24 hours?
Where has my creative muse gone? Every time I write, the story doesn't feel like it's going in the right direction. That probably sounds really strange and it's quite hard to explain...I'm the conduit for the story, it leads me, I don't direct it.
Does my upset stomach have anything to do with L going away to that sandy place and my current apathy to my job?
Do the local birds have it in for us? So far they have crapped - twice and on the INSIDE - of a sheet hung on the washing line and on our car after we had it cleaned! If they do, be warned birds, I know a man with a gun who is a very GOOD SHOT and I'm not afraid to call him. What can I say...I'm the vengeful kind of vegetarian.
Will I always live in a town called Doubts-ville in a country called No-confidence-in-me-um?
Where do all the lost things go? You know, like that one sock that went in the wash and never came out, the money you get out of the cash point, your libido, your self-esteem, your figure, your time, your energy, your inclination to give a damn..?
If money doesn't buy you happiness, what exactly does it buy? Being able to buy a house - here and in the States - pay for my teaching course, buy L a new car, stash some money away for my mum, sisters, L's parents and sister too etc would certainly make me happy.
How am I going to drag myself out of bed at 06:30 tomorrow when it's nearly midnight and I've just dropped L off at camp for his tour in that sandy place?
To end this intro on a more positive note I will work on my optimism and realign my attitude. For the time being while I do that - which may well take some time - read on...
Did the duck sitting in a large puddle on the grass outside of Costco not wonder why its feet could touch the ground?
Are the gurgling and sloshing noises my stomach is making its way of saying what's wrong with it?
What's going on with me to make me so withdrawn and antisocial of late?
Is it weird that I get homesick for the States?
Why do I have the motivation and concentration span of a butterfly?
When will I stop suffering with serious CBA ( can't be arsed)?
Do I have a particularly virulent form of psoriasis that enables me to renew my skin and scale up in 24 hours?
Where has my creative muse gone? Every time I write, the story doesn't feel like it's going in the right direction. That probably sounds really strange and it's quite hard to explain...I'm the conduit for the story, it leads me, I don't direct it.
Does my upset stomach have anything to do with L going away to that sandy place and my current apathy to my job?
Do the local birds have it in for us? So far they have crapped - twice and on the INSIDE - of a sheet hung on the washing line and on our car after we had it cleaned! If they do, be warned birds, I know a man with a gun who is a very GOOD SHOT and I'm not afraid to call him. What can I say...I'm the vengeful kind of vegetarian.
Will I always live in a town called Doubts-ville in a country called No-confidence-in-me-um?
Where do all the lost things go? You know, like that one sock that went in the wash and never came out, the money you get out of the cash point, your libido, your self-esteem, your figure, your time, your energy, your inclination to give a damn..?
If money doesn't buy you happiness, what exactly does it buy? Being able to buy a house - here and in the States - pay for my teaching course, buy L a new car, stash some money away for my mum, sisters, L's parents and sister too etc would certainly make me happy.
How am I going to drag myself out of bed at 06:30 tomorrow when it's nearly midnight and I've just dropped L off at camp for his tour in that sandy place?
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