Wednesday Wonderings

There's only been one thing I've been wondering about lately: men. They, but L my husband in particular, are a complete mystery to me.

I've thought about reading Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus in order to help me better understand what goes through L's head in the vain hope that it might make me feel better. I suppose if reading it failed I could always then throw it at the back of L's head... that would certainly make me feel better.

Flippancy aside, even now when I try to imagine, understand even his thought processes or how he views his comments I draw a blank. Nadda. Zip. Zero. Nothing at all. As a person who always thinks before she opens her mouth and is painfully aware of the need to choose the right tone of voice in addition to the right words L's ineptitude, be it through ignorance or a blatant disregard for others, is jaw dropping. I dare say in someone else's husband it would even be entertaining, not so much in mine.

Here are some of the endearing and wonderful things he's said to me lately...

"You've been a little bit psychotic lately" - wtf?

"What's happened to your face?" well I'm just charmed.

"What's wrong with your face?" Nice.

"You're wearing that expression that makes women hate you" Well that narrows it down, cheers for that.

When I remarked that he said then nicest things to me first thing in the morning, that's usually when he decides is the perfect moment to enlighten me with these niceties, I was told "Stop being so oversensitive". How about I punch you in the side of your head? was my immediate first thought. I didn't. I felt like it, but I didn't. You can congratulate me now.

Holding up a diagram of what stress does to the body, "Look, it's like looking at you" Surprisingly enough he couldn't see what was negative about that?!

There have been so many gems lately I can't actually remember any more of them.

I understand men and women are fundamentally different - thank God! - but L's inability to think before he opens his mouth and the fact he is often so disconnected from emotion, especially other people's, is staggering. I'm beginning to think he wasn't just busy playing with the Lego at back of the room the day Mother Nature was giving out empathy, more a case of he was entirely absent - mentally, physically and emotionally. He was probably in his own universe.

Since I know I can't ever hope to solve the problem of the differences between men and women and I know when something has me beat...I'm going to turn my attention to wondering just how I am going to stop myself from throwing something at the back of L's head or punching him in the side of it....wish me luck.

Just Desserts

Its not often that I get to laugh at someone getting a good dose of their own medicine...that's not entirely true, I do but my empathy usually kicks in (much to the annoyance of the 'wicked Tash who lives in my head) and I just don't.

Mrs E, the head of the school C and I have just done our placement at, fancies him.

No wait it gets better.

The other afternoon when she was debriefing us on our teaching she was rubbing her foot down the back of his calf! Ha hahahahahahaha!

The uncomfortable look on his face as he told me was.....priceless! And yes, I did laugh my ass off unashamedly.

After weeks of a constant barrage of his sexual innuendos (don't worry I got used to it) it was hilarious to see him squirm when the shoe was on the other foot.

So I milked his discomfort and have threatened numerous times to pimp him out for good feedback.