One Strike and You're Out!

Supply teaching, like any job, can be absolutely amazing and have you skipping home on your toes, it can also give you the worst tension headache and have you repeatedly asking yourself why you put yourself through such stress for a wage packet.

Yesterday I experienced the latter.  

I got a last minute shout to cover in the afternoon in a school I've not been to before.  The brief was simple: year 6 or 3 (school haven't decided yet), French but no planning required as school have resources and a package they'd like you to follow.  Brilliant, no problem at all.  Except...no planning, two year 6 classes back to back, both of which who have had a different supply teacher for French since the start of term, no TA support, no information on the classes I was teaching (numbers, key personalities etc), it was a windy day, plus they'd had parents' morning and MacMillan Coffee Morning....it was awful!  Truly terrible.

I had to interrupt their class teacher's PPA, something I never do and have never done before, knowing full well how precious uninterrupted PPA time is.

The class TA tried her best to reassure me that they were usually a good class...but I'm not and indeed wasn't, convinced.

I rarely do this but that school is one school on my strike list, I will be thinking long and hard before I take another booking there.  Harsh?  Perhaps to some but if I compare the school to the many others I've been in and I think about the fact they've had different supply each week, I'm not sure the whole error lies in the brief from the agency.  Plus, I'm mindful of the class TA's comments later concerning the habitual behaviour from the very children I had issues with.  Either which way I count myself extremely lucky that I'm able to be in the position as a supply teacher in which I can take control of my working conditions.  

Maybe not quite one strike and you're out but almost there....

You can't take it with you

I finished my last supply booking nearly two weeks ago and haven't worked since. There's nothing out there the agency said and I can see that. Most schools will have already been hit by Ofsted for an inspection, so supply teachers aren't a necessary cost.

Needless to say I've panicked about money since. Being of the independent disposition I'm used to earning my own money and contributing toward taking care of household bills, I'm still doing that but the money I've put aside for when I'm not working is dwindling. I'd planned on being out of work for 6 weeks not 12.

When my sister L's birthday came I deliberated over what to get her, she's ...particular. In the end I bought her a book of postcards to colour herself, a YSL nail varnish that I knew she'd adore and put some money in a card for her.

I put more in that I usually would because I reasoned...it's just money and what am I working for if not to treat my loved ones?

Besides, you can't take it with you.

A Little Ray of Hope

I'm not a particularly religious person.

I do hold rather long conversations with God at times, usually when I'm upset or frustrated, but I do not go to Church and I'm not entirely sure that God actually fits the personality and characteristics we've given him i.e. male etc.

That isn't to say I'm not a spiritual person, I definitely believe in things having a balance and needing harmony.  I believe that there might be something out there and if there is it doesn't necessarily take the form that we've prescribed.  I also believe, whole heartedly, that some of us are just a tad more sensitive to certain forces and energies than others are and personally I'm rather glad of it - wouldn't the world be incredibly dull if we were all 'in-tune' with nature and therefore the same?

The reason I'm talking about spirituality and forces and things being in balance is that for a long time I've been out of balance.  My equilibrium has been jangled and broken and discordant for .... do you know what?...it doesn't matter how long, the point is I was broken.  I'm not for one moment suggesting that I'm fixed and back to what - who - I was before I was broken, no, I have a long way to go yet but I am on the road to recovery.  I can (kind of) accept that I am never going to go back to the person that I was before, how can I when I've changed and my experiences have helped shape me?  Besides, any one who has day dreamed about a time machine to go back in time will no there is never any going back.  It denies progress and all that it stands for. The trying to go back to what/who you were before, not the time machine. Obviously.

To get back to my point on spirituality today I feel much better in myself, more positive, lighter I suppose.  I've been stressing endlessly for too long about many things, more recently about getting a job to share the financial burden, getting my personal statement done for my PGCE application, who I was going to ask to be referees, submitting it, waiting to find out if they like me enough to invite me to interview, the interview itself, how I was going to find £9k for tuition fees...plus a whole host of other things that I could reel off the top of my head but I'm not!

My feeling better could be put down to a number of things:

1. I've just had one hours worth of Reflexology (will blog about this later, if I remember) 
2. Have come to a trade agreement with the practitioner where we trade treatment for my organisation and administration skills - yipppeeee)
3. I've completed the first draft of my personal statement for help from others in editing, what works and what doesn't etc
4. I have the names of 2 people who are happy to provide me references 

and this last one definitely gave me reason to smile
   
      5.  A cheque for nearly £500 came to me as a tax rebate!

For the first time in long time I have hope.

So, God in whatever form or shape he/she/it chooses to take...something somewhere sent me that cheque when it - and hope - were needed most. That cheque is going to be paid in to my bank and swiftly transferred to my savings account, where it is going to stay, untouched.

Now to work on the rest of the £8,500 I need!