This Christmas, Birthday and New Year were hard for me - one day I hope I won't begin so many posts with that statement - for lots of reasons but mainly just the following:
1. L was away and that experience came with a host of complicated emotions (anger, hurt, resentment, depression... to name a few)
2. I haven't REALLY spent time with my family alone without L in nearly 4 years and have deliberately tried to avoid doing so
3. Sister L had been left by her partner of 11 years because he 'wasn't happy and hadn't been for a while' just before Christmas ....(good job you guys can't hear me because I'm turning the air blue with expletives ... I know, I know a Masters in English Literature and still I use the language of the gutter).
Oh what to unpack first....I was angry with L because I'm fed up of him being away and having to be the supportive, understanding, sympathetic one whilst also feeling like he is totally unaware that I need the same.
I am hurt because L consistently fails to notice I am human and have emotional needs. I might smile and give all outward appearance of having the broadest shoulders in the world, capable of carrying great responsibility...but even I need someone to lean on. It hurts when you have a basic, primal need for security and there is none to be had.
I resent coming 2nd to the army. I resent knowing in it's eyes my job is to be quiet and put up with everything that IT decides for me, throws at me and puts me through because God forbid I should have a perfectly good head on my own shoulders and a desire to live my own life. I am not to have opinions, hopes, dreams, aspirations, independence or a will of my own unless L is away and I'm only to have these things WHILST he is away. I must of course relinquish such trifles when he returns and become the dutiful wife again.
My deliberate avoidance of my family....now to untangle this one...I'm afraid that they are going to notice that I'm not as happy as I should be and that they will think they know the real cause of it, therefore telling me things I don't want to hear... Things I don't need to hear. Unfortunately, or fortunately I haven't worked out which yet, there is still a part of me that is very much the baby, their little sister and I take criticism from them to heart.
So...despite having the above on my mind and inside...I did everything that I could to cheer my big sister L up, including letting her now nickname me Dobby from Harry Potter (just to explain really quickly I left a sock - my favourite sock that L bought me - at her house, she came over New Year's Eve for dinner and a Harry Potter fest. She flung the sock at me and said 'here you go Dobby', obviously I fell about laughing whilst chiming in 'master has set Dobby free. Master has given Dobby a sock!' I know so juvenile.)
At times I worked so hard to be entertaining and good company for my sister, I forgot about L being away and enjoyed myself. Imagine that.
Monday, 2 January 2012
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Wednesday Wonderings
So, here we are again....another post about my whimsical musings. I have to admit I can't say that I've been particularly blessed with any amusing thoughts recently....which makes living in my head rather dull. Life really is so much more fun when you have an inappropriate running commentary in your head.
Any way, moving on here's what I've been thinking about recently...
Why it's taken me nearly four years to realise it's not necessarily a bad thing that I am going in a different direction to the women I live with on this military housing estate?
Why I still feel tired despite sleeping nearly 9 hours last night? To be fair the quality of the sleep wasn't great and I still woke up about 10 times!
Why I feel hungover today when I only had 4 beers last night?
What is wrong with being a big fan of lists? I write a lot of lists - to do lists, things to pack lists, presents to buy lists, shopping lists, goal lists, what I want to be lists....
What is going on in my head to give me the obscure and very disturbing dreams that I keep having?
Why I thought it would be a good idea to eat an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher chocolates to myself in about 4 days? Ugh, yuck!
How long is it going to take for me to regain my energy and to stop feeling like I'm running on an empty tank?
Why do I always agree to stuff that I later regret because I can't muster the energy or enthusiasm?
Why I've lost all enthusiasm for food? I'm often hungry but nothing inspires my taste buds to salivate.
Would it be wrong to consider going back to bed?....
Did I really just open the door to the postman at 11am still in my snow flake patterned pj bottoms, a Winnie the Pooh top and sheep slippers? Apparently yes.
I have every intention of doing a 45 minute Zumba class (on the Xbox Konnet) followed by 50 minutes of yoga, but does anyone know of a crane that I can use to get myself off the sofa?
Why I am so hungry today? Seriously I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been slit.
When my friend, who I refer to as the BFG because he's nearly 7ft tall, is going to get here so we can go out to dinner?
Why my kindle won't charge?
If we have a US-UK plug/socket adaptor thingy somewhere in the house?
Why I fight for energy and to stay awake during the day but the moment it gets to a acceptable time to go to bed...I'm suddenly wide awake?
Any way, moving on here's what I've been thinking about recently...
Why it's taken me nearly four years to realise it's not necessarily a bad thing that I am going in a different direction to the women I live with on this military housing estate?
Why I still feel tired despite sleeping nearly 9 hours last night? To be fair the quality of the sleep wasn't great and I still woke up about 10 times!
Why I feel hungover today when I only had 4 beers last night?
What is wrong with being a big fan of lists? I write a lot of lists - to do lists, things to pack lists, presents to buy lists, shopping lists, goal lists, what I want to be lists....
What is going on in my head to give me the obscure and very disturbing dreams that I keep having?
Why I thought it would be a good idea to eat an entire tray of Ferrero Rocher chocolates to myself in about 4 days? Ugh, yuck!
How long is it going to take for me to regain my energy and to stop feeling like I'm running on an empty tank?
Why do I always agree to stuff that I later regret because I can't muster the energy or enthusiasm?
Why I've lost all enthusiasm for food? I'm often hungry but nothing inspires my taste buds to salivate.
Would it be wrong to consider going back to bed?....
Did I really just open the door to the postman at 11am still in my snow flake patterned pj bottoms, a Winnie the Pooh top and sheep slippers? Apparently yes.
I have every intention of doing a 45 minute Zumba class (on the Xbox Konnet) followed by 50 minutes of yoga, but does anyone know of a crane that I can use to get myself off the sofa?
Why I am so hungry today? Seriously I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been slit.
When my friend, who I refer to as the BFG because he's nearly 7ft tall, is going to get here so we can go out to dinner?
Why my kindle won't charge?
If we have a US-UK plug/socket adaptor thingy somewhere in the house?
Why I fight for energy and to stay awake during the day but the moment it gets to a acceptable time to go to bed...I'm suddenly wide awake?
Some Dear Letters
Dear Sleep Fairy,
I am just writing to apologise for anything that I have said or done to offend you that has made you feel I am not appreciative of your visits. Please, please could you come back?....
Yours humbly....a haggard and grey looking Tasha
*******************
Dear Insomnia Fairy,
Hi, are you enjoying your extended stay with me? Yeah, I kind of thought you might be. Well now here's the thing, while I think you have you uses (when I have a essay to write, or a personal statement or something) I need you to leave now.
I know this sounds ungrateful but I am shattered and swiftly losing the ability to string a coherent sentence together, which means I have to resort to silence and I've always got something to say. So, being silent and unable to say dry witty things....isn't working for me.
I'm going to make a deal with you, I have a trip planned to the other side of the world in the New Year, which will inevitably involve a measure of jet lag. So the deal I am offering is, how about you go and visit someone else for a couple of weeks and then you can come back and stay with me again for a few days under the invite of jet lag? Think it over.
Yours tiredly and feeling a little queasy,
Tasha
**************************
Dear L,
Come home now, please? I'm fed up of being alone and I miss you. I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's nearly lunch time and I'm still in my pjs...
My world is grey, cold and quiet when you're not here, so please, can you come home now?
Yours a sulking and tired Tasha
******************************
Dear moody brittle and abrupt work colleague,
I was going to start this letter with a demand to know 'what is your problem?' but that is very judgemental and confrontational....but, ah to hell with it 'what is your problem?'
I'd like to know if you are aware of how your attitude, tone of voice and general demeanour affects everyone else at work? I understand that you've a had a rough time of it lately and I sympathise, I really do. However, I would like to point out you aren't alone in this predicament and you really would get a great deal more support if you didn't strop around the place with a face like thunder throwing your toys out of your pram at the drop of a hat when you aren't the centre of attention.
We are all here for you, but you have to let us get close and pushing us away with snide abrupt and down right rudeness isn't going to endear you to us or make us inclined to want to be there for you.
Birds of a feather stick together.
Yours a slightly terse but still caring Tasha
*********************************
Dear EBay sellers who have marked by items as dispatched,
Erm I think you might be lying there because it's 4 days later and they still haven't arrived.
I'm aware that it's Christmas and I need to exercise some patience and I would - if you didn't lie.
Get a move on and get that stuff to me with a sense of urgency please!
Yours a poised to give negative feedback Tasha
**********************************
Dear Stomach,
You have been given a cup of tea and breakfast, so stop your grumbling and rumbling.
You know how it works - exercise first, food after.
Yours a wanting to drop another 6lbs Tasha
*********************************
Dear next door neighbours,
Hi, how's things? Good I hope.
I have a request, could you please stop slamming your doors, stomping up your stairs, banging on the walls and playing your music really loud? I know a couple of weeks ago you had to listen to me a friend spiritedly, okay drunkenly, singing loudly and playing so many different kinds of music you'd be forgiven for thinking that we're bipolar, but that was one night. You're banging, bad music, stomping etc has been going on for WEEKS. MONTHS even.
Thanks, your friendly neighbour who wishes you a merry Christmas and happy holidays Tasha;-)
*************************************
Dear Tasha,
Yes this really is a letter to yourself....GET UP OFF THE SOFA AND GET DRESSED - IT'S LUNCH TIME!!!!
I really do think that you would feel better if you went upstairs, got dressed in your fizz kit, did a Zumba Class and some yoga, then had a nice soak in the bath. Come on, you know you would too!
While you're upstairs getting dressed don't be afraid to hang out the washing and make the bed too. Just saying, you could kill 3 birds with 1 stone if you did.
Yours a concerned Tasha
PS don't forget to hydrate yourself while you about such things upstairs, there's a camelbak full of water up there that you didn't drink last night.
I am just writing to apologise for anything that I have said or done to offend you that has made you feel I am not appreciative of your visits. Please, please could you come back?....
Yours humbly....a haggard and grey looking Tasha
*******************
Dear Insomnia Fairy,
Hi, are you enjoying your extended stay with me? Yeah, I kind of thought you might be. Well now here's the thing, while I think you have you uses (when I have a essay to write, or a personal statement or something) I need you to leave now.
I know this sounds ungrateful but I am shattered and swiftly losing the ability to string a coherent sentence together, which means I have to resort to silence and I've always got something to say. So, being silent and unable to say dry witty things....isn't working for me.
I'm going to make a deal with you, I have a trip planned to the other side of the world in the New Year, which will inevitably involve a measure of jet lag. So the deal I am offering is, how about you go and visit someone else for a couple of weeks and then you can come back and stay with me again for a few days under the invite of jet lag? Think it over.
Yours tiredly and feeling a little queasy,
Tasha
**************************
Dear L,
Come home now, please? I'm fed up of being alone and I miss you. I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's nearly lunch time and I'm still in my pjs...
My world is grey, cold and quiet when you're not here, so please, can you come home now?
Yours a sulking and tired Tasha
******************************
Dear moody brittle and abrupt work colleague,
I was going to start this letter with a demand to know 'what is your problem?' but that is very judgemental and confrontational....but, ah to hell with it 'what is your problem?'
I'd like to know if you are aware of how your attitude, tone of voice and general demeanour affects everyone else at work? I understand that you've a had a rough time of it lately and I sympathise, I really do. However, I would like to point out you aren't alone in this predicament and you really would get a great deal more support if you didn't strop around the place with a face like thunder throwing your toys out of your pram at the drop of a hat when you aren't the centre of attention.
We are all here for you, but you have to let us get close and pushing us away with snide abrupt and down right rudeness isn't going to endear you to us or make us inclined to want to be there for you.
Birds of a feather stick together.
Yours a slightly terse but still caring Tasha
*********************************
Dear EBay sellers who have marked by items as dispatched,
Erm I think you might be lying there because it's 4 days later and they still haven't arrived.
I'm aware that it's Christmas and I need to exercise some patience and I would - if you didn't lie.
Get a move on and get that stuff to me with a sense of urgency please!
Yours a poised to give negative feedback Tasha
**********************************
Dear Stomach,
You have been given a cup of tea and breakfast, so stop your grumbling and rumbling.
You know how it works - exercise first, food after.
Yours a wanting to drop another 6lbs Tasha
*********************************
Dear next door neighbours,
Hi, how's things? Good I hope.
I have a request, could you please stop slamming your doors, stomping up your stairs, banging on the walls and playing your music really loud? I know a couple of weeks ago you had to listen to me a friend spiritedly, okay drunkenly, singing loudly and playing so many different kinds of music you'd be forgiven for thinking that we're bipolar, but that was one night. You're banging, bad music, stomping etc has been going on for WEEKS. MONTHS even.
Thanks, your friendly neighbour who wishes you a merry Christmas and happy holidays Tasha;-)
*************************************
Dear Tasha,
Yes this really is a letter to yourself....GET UP OFF THE SOFA AND GET DRESSED - IT'S LUNCH TIME!!!!
I really do think that you would feel better if you went upstairs, got dressed in your fizz kit, did a Zumba Class and some yoga, then had a nice soak in the bath. Come on, you know you would too!
While you're upstairs getting dressed don't be afraid to hang out the washing and make the bed too. Just saying, you could kill 3 birds with 1 stone if you did.
Yours a concerned Tasha
PS don't forget to hydrate yourself while you about such things upstairs, there's a camelbak full of water up there that you didn't drink last night.
Monday, 19 December 2011
Ostriches, a Fear of Failure and Zumba
What do ostriches, an inherent fear of failure and zumba have in common?......me. Apparently.
It is just an email, yet no sooner had I opened it and read the contents then I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach.
I felt physically ill.
It was a reference request from my first choice of University for the PGCE course....
My first instinct was to close the email and distract myself with anything that didn't involve something as important as dealing with it. See I told you...coward.
Although an ostrich has NEVER been scientifically proven to stick it's head in the sand when faced with danger or to merely avoid a situation, I'm still a huge advocate of being one and sticking my head in the proverbial sand pit of avoidance. Chalk it up to a fear or failure.
Before the lectures start along the lines of 'you've come this far, don't screw things up now' or 'don't be silly, it's just an email' or 'doing nothing isn't an option because it's not going to go away' I replied to the email.
So, now what is a very nervous woman to do when she's home alone?.....45 minute zumba session on the xbox of course! Yes, I know I was up at 06:30 to do a quick 20 minute session this morning before work...guess it must be a full moon or something but that's another post.
Fizz kit here I come...oh boy!
It is just an email, yet no sooner had I opened it and read the contents then I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach.
I felt physically ill.
It was a reference request from my first choice of University for the PGCE course....
My first instinct was to close the email and distract myself with anything that didn't involve something as important as dealing with it. See I told you...coward.
Although an ostrich has NEVER been scientifically proven to stick it's head in the sand when faced with danger or to merely avoid a situation, I'm still a huge advocate of being one and sticking my head in the proverbial sand pit of avoidance. Chalk it up to a fear or failure.
Before the lectures start along the lines of 'you've come this far, don't screw things up now' or 'don't be silly, it's just an email' or 'doing nothing isn't an option because it's not going to go away' I replied to the email.
So, now what is a very nervous woman to do when she's home alone?.....45 minute zumba session on the xbox of course! Yes, I know I was up at 06:30 to do a quick 20 minute session this morning before work...guess it must be a full moon or something but that's another post.
Fizz kit here I come...oh boy!
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
Wednesday Wonderings
Why we only ever seem to get power cuts when L is away?
What part of 'I've no power, no heating and no hot water' was misunderstood to the point of a person telling me to keep warm with a hot water bottle? I think someone needs to practice their listening skills.
What is going to happen to me and my job if the boy I support is permanently excluded from school?
Why my Blackberry phone suddenly won't let me check my email even when I'm connected to wifi? Grr stupid crackberry.
Why every evening I have a scratchy throat (like I'm about to get a cold or something) but by lunch time the next day it's gone?
Who I should thank for giving me 4 bottles of beer? They were from my secret Santa!
Why some women are so clicky? There is a click at work of older women - who quite frankly should know better at their age - and they make more than a few of us very uncomfortable with their whispered tittering and supposed furtive glances in people's direction.
Should I bother with Christmas cards this year? I'm feeling lazy.
Would it be far too geeky to say I really miss studying and discussing literature? I even miss writing essays about it too.
What should I be when I grow up?
When will I stop looking for whatever it is that I'm searching for?
Could I just find 'it' whatever 'it' is that I'm meant to do/bed etc now please? I'm getting a bit fed up with 'the drive' and 'push' to keep myself moving in a direction only to be plagued with moments of doubt, indecision and insecurity along the way. So, just to reiterate....BORED NOW!! And sulking too.
Why it FEELS like it is taking forever for us to be done with School for Christmas?
Why when we have a power cut does it only seem to hit the same 8 or so houses - usually mine included in those?
What came over me today to make me have 'a moment' that derailed my emotions for the rest of the day?
What's bothering me (this time) to bring on my latest bout of insomnia and light sleeping? Really am over being a light sleeper! And apparently I didn't que up for Festive Cheer along with patience when Mother Nature was giving out 'gifts'.
How many times was I going to spill my lunch down myself today at work?
When my creative muse is going to come back? I can hardly call myself a writer when the only things I write are reports on children and my inane pointless thoughts.
How I'm going to get myself out of this funk?
What makes a person a lip biter/nail biter - genetics or nervous disposition?
How long is it going to take for scientists to find a cure for psoriasis? I know the cure for things like Cancer are much more important, but could someone please just tell me how far down on the list it is so I know how long I'm going to have to wait.
What part of 'I've no power, no heating and no hot water' was misunderstood to the point of a person telling me to keep warm with a hot water bottle? I think someone needs to practice their listening skills.
What is going to happen to me and my job if the boy I support is permanently excluded from school?
Why my Blackberry phone suddenly won't let me check my email even when I'm connected to wifi? Grr stupid crackberry.
Why every evening I have a scratchy throat (like I'm about to get a cold or something) but by lunch time the next day it's gone?
Who I should thank for giving me 4 bottles of beer? They were from my secret Santa!
Why some women are so clicky? There is a click at work of older women - who quite frankly should know better at their age - and they make more than a few of us very uncomfortable with their whispered tittering and supposed furtive glances in people's direction.
Should I bother with Christmas cards this year? I'm feeling lazy.
Would it be far too geeky to say I really miss studying and discussing literature? I even miss writing essays about it too.
What should I be when I grow up?
When will I stop looking for whatever it is that I'm searching for?
Could I just find 'it' whatever 'it' is that I'm meant to do/bed etc now please? I'm getting a bit fed up with 'the drive' and 'push' to keep myself moving in a direction only to be plagued with moments of doubt, indecision and insecurity along the way. So, just to reiterate....BORED NOW!! And sulking too.
Why it FEELS like it is taking forever for us to be done with School for Christmas?
Why when we have a power cut does it only seem to hit the same 8 or so houses - usually mine included in those?
What came over me today to make me have 'a moment' that derailed my emotions for the rest of the day?
What's bothering me (this time) to bring on my latest bout of insomnia and light sleeping? Really am over being a light sleeper! And apparently I didn't que up for Festive Cheer along with patience when Mother Nature was giving out 'gifts'.
How many times was I going to spill my lunch down myself today at work?
When my creative muse is going to come back? I can hardly call myself a writer when the only things I write are reports on children and my inane pointless thoughts.
How I'm going to get myself out of this funk?
What makes a person a lip biter/nail biter - genetics or nervous disposition?
How long is it going to take for scientists to find a cure for psoriasis? I know the cure for things like Cancer are much more important, but could someone please just tell me how far down on the list it is so I know how long I'm going to have to wait.
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Wednesday Wonderings
Despite my 'interesting' week at work involving crowd control, sheep herding, counselling and my *ahem* emotional episode in a muddy puddle on Saturday, I've had the odd moment or two to go off on a tangent since I last posted.
Here is what those moments have given me by means of entertainment:
What was going through my head on Monday night to make me dream of being Cleopatra with 2 slaves? I'm pretty sure she had more than 2 slaves and wasn't a 5ft 117lb conker hued haired creature of habit.
Why some teenagers are drawn to drama?
Why I wake up at the crack of dawn at weekends but can't seem to drag myself out of bed during the week for work?
What I'm going to do with suddenly 'free' weekend this coming weekend? (Er Christmas shopping Natasha if you know what's good for you)
Why some people just can not keep a secret or a conversation to themselves? Honestly, some conversations don't need to come with the caveat of being just between friends. Further censorship here I come!
How worried I should be that I, more often than not, see where Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang is coming from and sympathise? Okay, I more than sympathise - I usually agree with him/his statements etc
Is the actress Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives a natural red head?
What is Julia Roberts' natural hair colour?
Should I take being told I look like Tina Fey (Elizabeth Stamatina Fey) a compliment? She's 7 years older than me! The being older thing aside, I wouldn't mind having her collar bone structure.
How do you get a collar bone? Is is genetic like whether you have a 6 pack or a 8 pack?
Who discovered that the gene for curly hair is a mutated gene and why do I know that?
Why can I remember that but not remember things for academic tests?
Why I've suddenly developed a huge crush on Adam Levine and erm even more so since 'Moves Like Jagger' song and video? I know, I know...issues! I've never pretended to be normal guys. Oh and fancying him doesn't infringe of me fancying Timothy Olyphant, I can multi task when I want to. Just thought I'd point that out. In case you were wondering.
Why I've only ever had 2 bosses that were competent? I've had a lot of jobs too. Hm hardly encouraging.
Why there are some things - like licking the spoon when you're baking - that you just never grow out of?
Where my interest in food has gone?
Are things like chewing your lips a genetic trait in some families or just coincidence? Me and my sister L both do it and in the same way too.
If any one else noticed I was getting my geek on walking around the house they shot the Kiera Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice in on Sunday? Yes, I really did sit on a window seat and squeal 'How Elizabeth Bennett!'
How glad I am that I drew my curtains so no one saw me shaking my ass to Zumba on the XBox connect? That should probably be how glad my neighbours are that I closed my curtains...pretty sure no one wants to watch me gliding swan like *see hippo in a tutu* across my rug giving myself carpet burns on my feet. (I wasn't wearing a tutu though guys, I don't have one but I do have my own set of fairy wings)
When they are going to put new films on the Christmas 24 channel? I've seen all the ones they are showing at least twice.
To Christmas shop or not to Christmas shop tomorrow after work?
What year 8 English ate today at lunch? They could not shut up and practice their listening skills for toffee today! It was exhausting.
Is it strange that I'm excited to wrap the 2, yes only 2, Christmas presents that I've bought so far?
Is my sister L seriously asking us to buy her clothes for Christmas? Little Miss Have You Kept The Receipt has never ASKED for clothes ugh!! What a nightmare...
Here is what those moments have given me by means of entertainment:
What was going through my head on Monday night to make me dream of being Cleopatra with 2 slaves? I'm pretty sure she had more than 2 slaves and wasn't a 5ft 117lb conker hued haired creature of habit.
Why some teenagers are drawn to drama?
Why I wake up at the crack of dawn at weekends but can't seem to drag myself out of bed during the week for work?
What I'm going to do with suddenly 'free' weekend this coming weekend? (Er Christmas shopping Natasha if you know what's good for you)
Why some people just can not keep a secret or a conversation to themselves? Honestly, some conversations don't need to come with the caveat of being just between friends. Further censorship here I come!
How worried I should be that I, more often than not, see where Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang is coming from and sympathise? Okay, I more than sympathise - I usually agree with him/his statements etc
Is the actress Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives a natural red head?
What is Julia Roberts' natural hair colour?
Should I take being told I look like Tina Fey (Elizabeth Stamatina Fey) a compliment? She's 7 years older than me! The being older thing aside, I wouldn't mind having her collar bone structure.
How do you get a collar bone? Is is genetic like whether you have a 6 pack or a 8 pack?
Who discovered that the gene for curly hair is a mutated gene and why do I know that?
Why can I remember that but not remember things for academic tests?
Why I've suddenly developed a huge crush on Adam Levine and erm even more so since 'Moves Like Jagger' song and video? I know, I know...issues! I've never pretended to be normal guys. Oh and fancying him doesn't infringe of me fancying Timothy Olyphant, I can multi task when I want to. Just thought I'd point that out. In case you were wondering.
Why I've only ever had 2 bosses that were competent? I've had a lot of jobs too. Hm hardly encouraging.
Why there are some things - like licking the spoon when you're baking - that you just never grow out of?
Where my interest in food has gone?
Are things like chewing your lips a genetic trait in some families or just coincidence? Me and my sister L both do it and in the same way too.
If any one else noticed I was getting my geek on walking around the house they shot the Kiera Knightly version of Pride and Prejudice in on Sunday? Yes, I really did sit on a window seat and squeal 'How Elizabeth Bennett!'
How glad I am that I drew my curtains so no one saw me shaking my ass to Zumba on the XBox connect? That should probably be how glad my neighbours are that I closed my curtains...pretty sure no one wants to watch me gliding swan like *see hippo in a tutu* across my rug giving myself carpet burns on my feet. (I wasn't wearing a tutu though guys, I don't have one but I do have my own set of fairy wings)
When they are going to put new films on the Christmas 24 channel? I've seen all the ones they are showing at least twice.
To Christmas shop or not to Christmas shop tomorrow after work?
What year 8 English ate today at lunch? They could not shut up and practice their listening skills for toffee today! It was exhausting.
Is it strange that I'm excited to wrap the 2, yes only 2, Christmas presents that I've bought so far?
Is my sister L seriously asking us to buy her clothes for Christmas? Little Miss Have You Kept The Receipt has never ASKED for clothes ugh!! What a nightmare...
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Teflon Shoulders, Public Melt Downs, Pumpkin Spice Latte and Dented Sensibilities
Okay, so it's been a while since you've had to listen my dulcet tones bringing you up-to-date with the wonderful witty world of Tasha.
And you're going to have to wait a little while longer because I have my sarcasm queen hat on, along with squinty eyes and a thin line of a mouth.
I am one unhappy bunny today and in no mood to put up with anyone who thinks this chick is cute and fluffy. Just ask my oven and bath because they are missing their protective coatings. Don't even think about jokingly asking me to come round and do yours....unless you want a tongue lashing from me.
I'm going to cut to the chase because my patience in limited and I reached it about four sentences ago - yes that would virtually be the title! The person who points that out is either brave or stupid or both ggrrr.
I had a very public and tearful melt down today at about 10 o clock outside a very expensive and uppity private primary school, while a complete stranger stopped me from damaging a blue BMW estate car with my less than desirable parking (don't utter a word about that it or it could cost you dearly). He ended up having to move the car for me.
Wait. Let me back track and start on Thursday when my boss displayed her Teflon Shoulders and let me shoulder the humiliation and responsibility for her inability to organise herself and be prepared for a teacher-parent meeting. People whine about their bosses all the time and I've had my fair share of them to know more often than not there are more bad ones than there are good ones, so needless to say I took the criticisms of mine with a pinch of salt. Until Thursday. I'm not going to descend into the expletive muttering angry woman skulking in the corner that I was on Thursday after our meeting, no I'm going to be blunt but polite and merely say my boss is ineffectual at best and incompetent at worst.
Friday, I was pushed from pillar to post at work doing general dog's body work, which mostly I enjoy because I like putting things in order and organising things and keeping busy. However, the promise I was made of being able to leave an hour early because I had started work an hour early never materialised and lo and behold I ended up being the only person in our team left working!! Everyone else slunk off early.
Yesterday was also the last day to send care packages out to Afghanistan where L is for Christmas. I arrived at the post office only to be told they were refusing to send my package because it was over 2kgs and I needed to go home and repackage. Fine. About turn I did, drove home, repackaged and went back having split it in to 3 packages just to make sure.
Today I was meant to be running a stall for a friend so that she could go on a day out with her husband (forces too) so she wouldn't lose out on the money she had paid to have it there at this fancy smancy private school that had pot holes the size of craters on their drive full of muddy water. Seriously, all that money and no common sense to see to your drive?????
And that's about where I started this forlorn tale....standing there in my Uggs with my car pressed up against another one, wondering how I was going to get myself out of the mess I'd got myself into. Oh wait I forgot to mention that our insurance was about to lapse because I am in the process of negotiating with them to drop their renewal price, never having been involved in our car insurance business either (that's L's job!) I also forgot to mention that all day yesterday my stomach had me running to the bathroom while everything I ate went straight through me.
I ended up getting myself into such a tearful state that I just came home. For a long time, as I cleaned, I brushed tears off my cheeks and wished balefully that I had family around me to give me a comforting hug, to curl up on the sofa and to watch Christmasy films with to cheer me up.
I settled for a large mug of Nescafe Pumpkin Spice Latte sent by the Mother in law and watching a film alone.
I'm okay, only my pride, confidence and sensibilities have been dented. And on the plus, my oven looks good, my bath is gleaming and I just have a small pile of ironing to attend to.
It's okay to laugh now, I've calmed down and feel a little better. Kind of. I suppose. Any one got a spare hug going???
And you're going to have to wait a little while longer because I have my sarcasm queen hat on, along with squinty eyes and a thin line of a mouth.
I am one unhappy bunny today and in no mood to put up with anyone who thinks this chick is cute and fluffy. Just ask my oven and bath because they are missing their protective coatings. Don't even think about jokingly asking me to come round and do yours....unless you want a tongue lashing from me.
I'm going to cut to the chase because my patience in limited and I reached it about four sentences ago - yes that would virtually be the title! The person who points that out is either brave or stupid or both ggrrr.
I had a very public and tearful melt down today at about 10 o clock outside a very expensive and uppity private primary school, while a complete stranger stopped me from damaging a blue BMW estate car with my less than desirable parking (don't utter a word about that it or it could cost you dearly). He ended up having to move the car for me.
Wait. Let me back track and start on Thursday when my boss displayed her Teflon Shoulders and let me shoulder the humiliation and responsibility for her inability to organise herself and be prepared for a teacher-parent meeting. People whine about their bosses all the time and I've had my fair share of them to know more often than not there are more bad ones than there are good ones, so needless to say I took the criticisms of mine with a pinch of salt. Until Thursday. I'm not going to descend into the expletive muttering angry woman skulking in the corner that I was on Thursday after our meeting, no I'm going to be blunt but polite and merely say my boss is ineffectual at best and incompetent at worst.
Friday, I was pushed from pillar to post at work doing general dog's body work, which mostly I enjoy because I like putting things in order and organising things and keeping busy. However, the promise I was made of being able to leave an hour early because I had started work an hour early never materialised and lo and behold I ended up being the only person in our team left working!! Everyone else slunk off early.
Yesterday was also the last day to send care packages out to Afghanistan where L is for Christmas. I arrived at the post office only to be told they were refusing to send my package because it was over 2kgs and I needed to go home and repackage. Fine. About turn I did, drove home, repackaged and went back having split it in to 3 packages just to make sure.
Today I was meant to be running a stall for a friend so that she could go on a day out with her husband (forces too) so she wouldn't lose out on the money she had paid to have it there at this fancy smancy private school that had pot holes the size of craters on their drive full of muddy water. Seriously, all that money and no common sense to see to your drive?????
And that's about where I started this forlorn tale....standing there in my Uggs with my car pressed up against another one, wondering how I was going to get myself out of the mess I'd got myself into. Oh wait I forgot to mention that our insurance was about to lapse because I am in the process of negotiating with them to drop their renewal price, never having been involved in our car insurance business either (that's L's job!) I also forgot to mention that all day yesterday my stomach had me running to the bathroom while everything I ate went straight through me.
I ended up getting myself into such a tearful state that I just came home. For a long time, as I cleaned, I brushed tears off my cheeks and wished balefully that I had family around me to give me a comforting hug, to curl up on the sofa and to watch Christmasy films with to cheer me up.
I settled for a large mug of Nescafe Pumpkin Spice Latte sent by the Mother in law and watching a film alone.
I'm okay, only my pride, confidence and sensibilities have been dented. And on the plus, my oven looks good, my bath is gleaming and I just have a small pile of ironing to attend to.
It's okay to laugh now, I've calmed down and feel a little better. Kind of. I suppose. Any one got a spare hug going???
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