Editing, Ponds and Fond Farewells

Well my moments, hours, days and weeks spent editing a friend's novella are over and I'm incredibly sad that its come to an end despite knowing it was time to bid it a fond farewell.

I loved it.  Truly loved it.  I liked taking it apart and analysing it down to the smallest detail - should he use this word or is that one more fitting?  Does this paragraph belong here in chapter 6 or should it come much earlier on chapter 3?  Would so-and-so have used that phrase?  Is that reaction right for them?  Doesn't that bit of speech sound more like so-and-so and not so-and-so?  *Big heavy sigh* It was fantastic and its over.

I'm well aware that I put far more hours into it than a profession editor would have done, this is only natural considering I am not a professional editor.  Plus, I was keenly aware that I was being handed a new writer's 'baby' as well as their fragile ego.  I remember the first time I had to hand over a piece of creative writing...I felt sick to the pit of my stomach, my palms were sweating, I was obsessed with my reception, my heart hammered in my chest...I felt like my jugular was exposed to the baying hounds of hell as I waited for their feedback.

How much did I earn for my substantive editing of his novella?  I'm not really sure, but I believe about $120.  The reason I'm vague about it is I offered to do it for free.  Not out of the goodness of my heart but rather because I'm all for encouraging people to follow their dream, especially if it involves creative writing.  I will bolster and encourage and support any creative endeavour, particularly writing as there's where I have experience so it wouldn't have mattered what he offered to pay me - I'd have still turned it down.  I was still rejecting the idea of payment right up until two hours ago when I emailed over my final notes.  Even now, skint and out of work as I am, I'm toying with the idea of donating it to the USO.  After all its not like I had that money to start with...and I did get far more out of the experience than payment can really express.

I'm quite interested in looking to do it on a regular basis and I have to say I do have some proof reading lined up for September (academic essays) but that's September and its academic which isn't nearly as diverting or exciting.  I've briefly searched the net and as per usual there is a mine field of websites all professing to be the oracle on how to become an editor and all you need do is purchase their book for $16.99 or whatever...yeah right.  Not helpful. 

Today I dipped my foot in that pond, tomorrow I may decide to dive in and go for a swim (or drown) as I wade searching for useful pearls of wisdom.

Oh well, may be if he likes what I've done and the changes I've suggested he'll refer me and my editing skills to others or even use me again...Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

In Memory of Ann Clare Smisek

Dear Ann,

Wow. I am utterly stunned that you are gone. I can't believe that I am never going to see you again, it all feels...surreal, like a bad dream that if I just shake myself or tell myself to wake up I can free myself from it. I wish it were so. I feel at a total loss, like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me. I'm struggling to understand what your absence means to me and so many others.

There is an ache in the centre of my chest knowing I am never going to see your smiling face again, or hear the infectious sound of your laughter, or feel awed by the wealth of your knowledge and the extent of your kindness. You have always been my fountain of knowledge, the one person I knew who I could turn to for academic guidance and help with my research - your assistance with my Masters dissertation was invaluable, without you I wouldn't have known where to start.

I have never known a woman as kind, generous, forgiving, self-sacrificing and as amazing as you. I feel honoured and privileged to have known you and to have been so warmly accepted in to your intimate circle of family and friends. When I think of you I remember you playfully flicking water at us from the birdbath in your garden, I remember your mouthwatering mashed patoto, I remember you taking Luke and I to the Hollywood Bowl to experience the Tchaikovsky Spectacular with Fireworks in August (which was awesome), I remember you hosting my birthday dinner, I remember the generous wedding gift Dick and yourself gave Luke and I...when I think of you happy memories clamour for attention and I smile.

The loss of you has touched me deeply and I grieve for the space in my life that you once filled. The world is already a much darker, colder and unfriendly place without you in it.

Ann, you have been and will always be loved, envied, regarded as intensely inspiring and you will be sorely missed. Thank you for the love, laughter and happiness that you gave me in the time that I knew you. To know you is to love you and I miss you already.

May you rest in peace Ann Clare Smisek and know we will do the best that we can to be there for those that will miss you most - your loving family.

Love you, love me.

Natasha